Category: Trauma, Self-awareness, Inner peace

According to professor of psychiatry Bessel van der Kolk, “At the core of (trauma) recovery is self-awareness. The most important phrases in trauma therapy are ‘Notice that’ and ‘What happens next?’” Big-T trauma is serious injury, violence or death. Little-t traumas are more in the eye of the beholder, including non-life-threatening injury, emotional abuse, bullying/harassment, and significant losses (perhaps of a relationship or a beloved pet). Trauma involves the story you hold onto about what has happened. Finding inner peace is about acceptance of your emotions—all of your emotions—and living in the present moment.

Pearls-of-peace Farmers

Pearls and purple sensation allium (retirement stage)

We will be pearl farmers in this blog, pearls-of-peace farmers. I read online directions for how to “farm pearls” at home: “Place a small bead made from another oyster’s shell into the reproductive organ (if you can find it).” Hmm…this is getting interesting. “Place a piece of another oyster’s mantle (the organ which makes the shell) with the bead…close the oyster, put it back in water, and wait for 2-3 years.” This pearl-raising makes waiting 9 months for a baby sound less daunting. However, some pearls fail to form in their parent shell and some babies fail to thrive. Miscarriage and other baby traumas are more common than most people realize.

At a further point along personal odysseys, some individuals cannot wait for their retirement. Then they arrive “there” and do not find the peace of mind that was imagined. Successful pearl farming may appear to be an easy way to make a living, but it is a long-term investment. A successful retirement also is a long-term investment of time and money for a quality outcome. More importantly, I believe that a quality retirement experience requires one to rewire their personality and ability skillset in this important developmental stage of living. Regardless of your present age, what parts of your personality might benefit from rewiring?

The word rewire has meanings for both electricity and psychology. Rewiring refers to replacing faulty electrical wiring when thinking of electrical work. Psychologically, rewiring is a personality self-reorganization to provide a greater sense of purpose and meaning. Like pearls strung together for a necklace, you have various parts of your personality strung together. Is it time to restring or rewire?

Pearls of Peace—PoP quiz:

What is your association to pearls?

My first pearls were a gift from my mother-in-law. She gave me her mother’s pearls. Legacy pearls are a metaphor for ancestor importance.

To read more about Jan and her books, please visit Janis Johnston’s website.

Pearls and Trauma

Pearls have a trauma ancestry. Their family of origin story begins in marine oyster or freshwater mussel shells. Pearl conception occurs as a natural defense against an intruder. An irritant–such as a parasite–enters the innocent “parent” oyster or mussel between the mantle (or muscle) and the shell. The protective mantle gets busy, laying a fluid on top of the irritant. This layering substance, called nacre or mother of pearl, raises a pearl to adulthood. Jewelry is a pearl’s final or retirement developmental stage.

You may have a trauma history as well. Whether you experienced big-T trauma, or a series of little-t traumas in your life, your personality also acts as a defender like the pearl’s story. Most of us experience traumatic intrusions in our lives. Our bodily and/or mind integrity becomes threatened. It is natural to want to protect yourself. Only sometimes you place so many limits onto yourself in protector-mode that you cannot use your full potential. You can find little peace.

Pearls are diverse. They form in various shapes and sizes, not just in the familiar round shape. Pearls, like people, come in a variety of colors. Black pearls get their color from their oyster’s nacre. Natural pink and lavender pearls come from freshwater pearl mussels. Pearl farming does not kill the parent shell. Pearl farmers maintain a sustainable practice by being careful in handling the parent shells. As oysters age, they typically birth better pearls than first-generation pearls.

Pearls seem to need attention. If a pearl necklace is locked away, over time the pearls lose their sheen and become dull. While pearls are categorized as a gemstone, pearls are unique in claiming the only gem status to form within a living creature! Unique among diamonds and other gemstones, pearls require no cutting or polishing before use. Pearls are precious.

Pearls represent a fresh start. Peace in the family, post-grief peace, and retirement peace all benefit from a fresh outlook. In these blog posts, we will explore how to string pearls of peace wherever you find yourself on your life’s odyssey.