Tag: attachment style

“Soft power” in politics, especially in international politics, is the practice of shaping another’s point of view through non-coercive means — as opposed to the “hard power” of coercion.  Political scientist Joseph S. Nye Jr., Professor Emeritus and former Dean of Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government, popularized the term in his 1990 book, Bound to Lead: The Changing Nature of American Power.  He further explored his theory in his 2004 book, Soft Power: The Means to Success in World Power. Nye once served as Assistant Secretary of Defense for International Security Affairs in the US. According to Nye, a country’s soft power depends upon 3 important factors in that country:

• Culture (as attractive to others),
• Political values (when upheld both at home and abroad), and
• Foreign policies (when others view them as legitimate as well as possessing moral authority).

I suspect that a leader is far more capable of exercising “soft power” if they possess a secure attachment (See Pearls of Peace blogpost 02-03-25).

On a small scale compared to international political diplomacy, but no less important, let’s understand how one might participate in “soft power.” As I explained in my “Attachment in Words” blog, it is possible to develop a secure attachment even when that is not a caretaker gift offered in earliest childhood.

Let’s consider teddy bear power. I found a teacher example of transforming school discipline into a version of super-soft power. Good teachers mentor in multiple directions. In 2022 New York City middle school teacher Karen Feldman wanted to change the climate among her students. She noticed a rise in hate speech and wanted to take proactive steps. Partnering with Bear Givers, a 501(c)(3) non-profit with a “Leading with Kindness Initiative,” Feldman guided her students in detention in decorating teddy bears to be given to hospitalized children. The students added art and messages on the teddy T-shirts. They attached supportive letters.

The motto of Bear Givers is “Making life more bearable (yes) through giving & receiving.” Feldman grasped the importance of having students focus on others’ plight. School populations catching onto this “soft power” approach now extend to students beyond detention walls. Teddy-bear diplomacy has included groups outside schools, such as Bar/Bat Mitzvah, Confirmation, Sweet Sixteen, and others. Bear Givers has donated over 500,000 bears and 500+ charity events have been sponsored with 100+ partnerships. https://www.beargivers.org/about

Mother Bear Project is an international 501(c)(3) non-profit that gives hand-knit or crocheted bears to children, predominantly orphans and those affected by HIVAIDS in Africa. Mother Bear knitters are individuals from all over the US and the world; both women and men knit — from ages ranging from 6-99! While there is one pattern, each creation is unique and bears (yes) the name of it’s Mother Bear. “Mother Bear” Karen McDowell, a retired teacher, shares her photo of some of her bears awaiting shipment. http://motherbearproject.org/

​Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

369. When have you exercised “soft power”?

370. What are your ideas for “leading with kindness?”