Birds, Bees, and Babies

Nora Prior, PhD Senior Research Associate, Psychology Department at Cornell University, studies songbirds. The Australian Zebra finch is monogamous. Dad finch works cooperatively in parent partnering. Birdbrain couples closely coordinate their parenting actions through communicating vocal harmonies.

Contrast this bird behavior with bee behavior. Male bees are lusty, but not trusty fellows (One Earth Film Fest).  A male bee jumps a female’s back and pins down her wings so that she cannot fly off. Initially, the young male “…jumps on anything, even bees of a different species. He improves with practice!” Drones (male bees), are about 10% of a bee colony and do no work; their life consists of eating honey and mating.

And humans? Current statistics are that 40% of the U.S. births occur to unmarried women. This is more than double the number in 1980 (18%). Reportedly, there are 13.6 million single parents raising 21 million children in the U.S. today; 80% of these single-parent caregivers are women. Where are the fathers?

The 7-10-23 Washington Post article, “Men are Lost. Here’s a Map Out of the Wilderness” by columnist Christine Emba, underscores the uncertain identity roles of men currently. Emba met and talked with men around the country. While many were taught a traditional male-as-provider role, the reality is that many feel left behind with declining male earnings and females appearing stronger in earning power. There are only 74 men finishing a college degree for every 100 women. However, the real “missing out” factor may be that young men today are missing positive male role models.

O.K. Here’s hope! Parenting precious-as-pearls babies is more all-encompassing than singing lullabies, although singing is an important ingredient — even singing to a babe in the womb. Many young mothers find themselves in circumstances without physical and/or emotional support.

New Moms, a Chicago-based parenting support center for moms 24 years-old or younger, celebrates their 40-year anniversary this year. From lowly roots of handing out diapers to young moms from the trunk of Ellen Kogstad’s car, to moving into the impressive Transformation Center in the Austin neighborhood with 30 studio and 10 one-bedroom apartments to accommodate single moms needing housing, New Moms expanded into Oak Park, acquiring Parenthesis Family Center and creating housing for 18 additional families.

I recently participated in making candles with New Moms at Bright Endeavors where soy candles are made for individual or corporate gifts and Whole Foods’ distribution. The paid job-training site has young moms learning more than how to show up for work on time and pour hot wax efficiently. The candle factory hums with activity. Candle-making moms face a punch list of life-skill development: executive skills, organization, time management, planning and prioritization, goal directed persistence, working memory, task initiation, sustained attention, response inhibition, metacognition, emotional control, flexibility, and stress tolerance.

Every person needs a Hi-Ho-It’s-Off-to-Work-We-Go job where they learn this energizing skillset!    

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

203. What organizations for social betterment do you support?

204. How might you extend support to youthful parents?