Author: Janis Johnston

Janis Clark Johnston, Ed.D., has a doctorate in counseling psychology from Boston University. She has worked with children, families, and groups (ages 3-83) with presenting issues of anxiety, depression, trauma, loss, and relationship concerns. She initially worked as a school psychologist in public schools and was awarded School Psychology Practitioner of the Year for Region 1 in Illinois for her innovative work. She was a supervising psychologist at a mental health center, an employee-assistance therapist and a trainer for agencies prior to having a family therapy private practice. Recipient of the 2011 Founder’s Award for her dedication to the parenting education of Parenthesis Family Center (now called New Moms), and the 2002 Community Spirit Award from Sarah’s Inn, a domestic violence shelter and education center, Johnston is an active participant in numerous volunteer activities supporting children and families in her community. A frequent presenter at national psychology and educational conferences, Johnston has published journal articles, book chapters, and two books -- It Takes a Child to Raise a Parent: Stories of Evolving Child and Parent Development (2013, hardback; 2019, paperback) and Midlife Maze: A Map to Recovery and Rediscovery after Loss (2017, hardback; 2019, paperback). In addition to augmenting and supporting personal growth in families, Johnston is a Master Gardener and loves nurturing growth in the plants in her yard.

Grandma Pearls

I have entered Grandma territory! And what wonderful territory it is! We need more positive people-to-people connections in these challenging times. There is nothing like welcoming a new baby to bring smiles from absolutely everyone! Strangers — who might ignore you any other day — want to send good wishes to the babe. No one cares who you voted for. No one wants to talk about their views on wars, just “What’s Baby’s name?”

Grandma is a term of endearment. Early versions were Grandam (grand + dame) or Great Mother. Growth of a simple Great Mother idea was initiated by Mike Mathews in 2012 in Central Park. Mathews honored his Grandma, Eileen Wilkinson, by setting up a makeshift stand (painted purple, his 104-year-old Grandmother’s favorite color). He named his invention “Grandma Stand.” The wisdom of sage women, and perhaps the spontaneous decision of a passerby to have a listening ear at just the right time in their week, makes a compelling connection for strangers. An accompanying sign asks one question: “What’s something you’re working on?” or “What stands between you and happiness?” or “What’s a conflict you have right now?” or “Who doesn’t know how much they’ve impacted your life”? or “Who’s someone you wish was still around?” or “What’s a relationship I need to fix or let go?”

Grandma Susan has gentle grace in her empathy response to a young woman who had moved to NYC from out of state. A box of Kleenex appears on the stand when tears surface: “…Most people fear change…it is normal to go into a kind of grieving with change…but what are we going to do about it?…talking is very valuable …we write our narrative. We create in our minds a story…sometimes that is constructive; sometimes it is destructive.”

Mathews has 20 grandmothers who volunteer at Grandma Stand in NYC and the concept spread to at least 6 more states (and 20 other locations). Perhaps it is as important for the Grands as it is for the diverse passer-by clientele. Grandma Kathy espouses, “You can’t stop me from doing this. It’s the most gratifying thing I’ve ever done.” A satisfied “customer” told filmmaker Susan Polis Schutz, “Just a little love, a little talking. She’s speaking to my soul and my essence.” Another told his listening Grandmother that he told her things that he had never told anyone else.

Schutz made a documentary showcasing 20 individuals, ages 10-81, talking at Grandma Stand. Even these brief encounters can kindle hope, and perhaps ongoing awareness, for those who take a few minutes to stop by. https://www.kpbs.org/news/2026/05/07/grandma-stand

Babies and Grandmothers can bring about unlimited friendliness. Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön writes about unlimited friendliness in her book, Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears. While no particular religion is part of Grandma Stands, many who avail themselves of Grandmotherly pearls are in sacred territory.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

508. When do you talk to strangers?

509. What have you learned from a stranger?

Boys and Men Need Our Attention

Author David Deida has a new book, The Man of Zero. “Zero” Man is defined by Deida as arriving at “…a point where he’s no longer motivated by the same motivations as in the past…[he]could become depressed. A man can collapse when he’s feeling unmotivated. But if you don’t collapse, if you can stay very present with the moment, with what is, without collapsing—even though you have no sense of purpose or meaning—something else happens. You begin to live and think and move from a deeper place that’s not personal anymore.”

Some can identify with Deida’s philosophy; others might question its veracity for their life. Perhaps everyone can agree to attend to boys’ and men’s wellbeing. June is Men’s Health Awareness Month with the intention to emphasize a critical need for preventive health screenings. This year’s theme reflects how important it is for whole families to invest in men’s wellness — “Partners in Care: For Better Lifespans Across the Lifespan.” Men’s health is a special focus in the week leading up to Father’s Day.

The rates of male depression and suicide have risen sharply according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. More than 6 million U.S. men experience symptoms of depression every year; a recent survey uncovered that 49% of men feel more depressed than they admit to people in their lives. A further cause for concern, men are less likely to ask for help with mental health challenges.

Risks for male wellbeing include these identified factors:

Toxic masculinity — the stereotypical gender roles to be strong, silent, and self-sufficient.
Stress at work – long work hours, high-stress roles, job burnout and depression.
Financial concerns — often the primary breadwinner, yet men more likely to face unemployment.
Substance abuse – men more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs, increasing their mental health concerns.

Victor Fontanez is a barber, motivational speaker and entrepreneur, who gave free outdoor haircuts when business collapsed during the pandemic, leading to his social media platform. He became a barber-turned-counselor in Atlanta. Fontanez is a strong role model for youth. He asks 11–12-year-old boys, “What would you change in the world?” They all say gun violence.

Fontanez shares how at age 23 he experienced a mental health crisis prior to his diagnosis of bipolar I disorder: “I thought I could physically push through anything. There was no need for therapy; there was no need to slow down…I pushed my body to the limits—and then I realized, it’s mind, body, and soul. It’s three things that a person needs to take care of.” He radically changed his behavior. Along with psychotherapy and medication assistance, he no longer compromises his sleep, eats a better diet, and exercises. He celebrates his positive changes.

Join “Wear Blue” on Fridays in June to show support for men’s bodymind health.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

506. When are you a role model for wellness?

507. What further steps might promote wellness in others?

Brain Inventories

June is Alzheimer’s and Brain Awareness Month. Do you need help checking your brain’s inventory? I recently met “Tally” making cooing noises while she gracefully glided down the paint aisle at Lowe’s; she was checking shelf inventory. My curiosity ever present, I inquired if Tally might replace a worker. The answer was yes.

How long will it be before the Tally’s of the world (or out of this world) are AI responsible caretakers for all the individuals who need careful checking just to make it through a day? Alzheimer’s disease (AD) is spreading unchecked. According to the World Health Organization, the world-wide number of people expected to have an AD diagnosis is 82 million by 2030. Alzheimer’s Association reports 7.4 million Americans have AD currently; U.S. AD deaths doubled since 2000.

While AD symptoms can vary, personality and behavior changes often include apathy, disorientation, memory loss, and cognitive impairment. Brain confusion and/or physical decline can make it impossible for living independently. The caretaker role for a loved one with AD is a major time commitment. As a person journeys through the 7 stages of AD, increasing close attention is required.

Early memory loss may indicate Mild Cognitive Impairment (MCI) which may not be a sign of later dementia, as there are various causes for MCI. An individual can be aware of their MCI which often includes exhaustion in addition to mild memory loss. Moderately severe cognitive decline involves a drop-off of abilities to handle finances and other tasks of daily living. Agitation and aggression may show up when previously these emotions were not frequent. Perhaps having a blinking Tally, murmuring close by, would be a blessing.

Most people are not educated in dealing with AD and/or challenging personalities. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of gerontologists; geriatric medicine is one of the least popular specialties among new physicians.

Proactive educational help is developing. The Milken Institute School of Public Health at George Washington University (GW in D.C.) has established an “Expanding the Pipeline to Graduate Research in Alzheimer’s Disease and Related Dementias (EPGRAD) Program” as a fully funded 8-week summer education and research training program for undergraduates. The goal is to encourage students in the majors of medicine, science, technology, engineering, and mathematics to consider careers in AD and related dementias. New GW projects include a “Black Male Dementia Caregiver Burden Study” and a “Brain Health and Microbiome Study.”

What might you do to improve your own brain health? One health tip stands out for psychiatrist Drew Ramsey, MD (author of both Healing the Modern Brain and Eat Complete), who finds that many individuals in his practice are undernourished when considering brain health and mental health: eat a handful of leafy greens in one of your daily meals.

Multiple rabbits in my yard munch on greens all day. They are unlikely to need Tally.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

504. How might you educate yourself about your brain health? 505. Have you considered how your own diet contributes to brain health?

Blue Moon Possibilities

My children will remember when they ganged up on me, rushed me to the front porch of our home, and proclaimed that both of them saw a “Blue Moon,” although it could be a moonless night. This was due to my telling them when they were in elementary school that we only went to eat at a certain fast-food restaurant (the one that gave “Happy Meals”) when there was a bonafide Blue Moon. A Blue Moon month is one where there are 2 full moons within that month. It does not occur every year. What, you ask? Well, there are a few seasonal Blue Moons, happening when 4 full moons occur within one season (instead of the usual 3 full moons per season).

I am not a fan of junk food and did not want my children to get hooked on it. I made dinners from scratch, preferring nutritious food for my family. I made going out for fast food a once-a-Blue-Moon event. Initially, this worked. Then they grew older. They saw other kids at school bringing the toys from those Happy Meals to school lunchtimes. Because they were so clever in their conniving, I usually gave in and we trooped off for burgers and fries a bit more frequently. A nutritionist is on my side, claiming that this restaurant chain’s menu “lacks nutrient-dense fruits and vegetables, and most items contain high amounts of sodium and fat.”

May, 2026, was a true-Blue Moon month! The lunar cycle of the Moon orbiting Earth is 29 ½ days, shorter than most months. But last evening, May 31^st, was the second full moon this May, having experienced the first full moon, the Flower Moon, on May 1^st.

Astronaut Christine Koch was privileged to fly the 10-day voyage to the dark side of the Moon. One day as she whizzed closer to our mysterious Moon, she called out through her space capsule window: “Hello Earthshine!” Earthshine is that eerie glow that illuminates the unlit part of the Moon; it shows up best when a New Moon is just a sliver in the night sky. Actually, sunlight is responsible for this hide-and-seek view on a clear night. Sun’s rays reflect off Earth (especially oceans, ice, and clouds), traveling onto the Moon which reflects back to human eyes. As sunlight illuminates lunar rocks, they reflect from 3-12% of the sunlight.

This intricate dance of bouncing light is remarkable. Our astronauts are remarkable. Koch advises, “…the seemingly impossible becomes possible if you just believe in it and are willing to work hard and come together to achieve it.” Yes, let’s reflect our best human attributes and come together, as families, neighbors, and citizens of one remarkable solar system.

FYI, according to the Royal Museums Greenwich, the next Blue Moon will be May 20, 2027, when a seasonal Blue Moon opportunity takes place. Don’t miss it!

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

502. What defines a happy meal preference for you?

503. When do you admire our special Moon?

Flowers and Flags

May hosts Mental Health Awareness Month; it also is the month honoring Asian American and Pacific Islander Heritage, as well as National Military Appreciation. Putting these celebrations together gives one pause. It is a complicated triangle.

Memorial Day is when we grieve for American soldiers who died in service to their country. Initially, the day was called “Decoration Day” due to a ceremony begun by freed enslaved people, members of the U.S. Colored Troops, in Charleston, SC in 1865. Graves of Union soldiers were decorated with flowers and flags. After World War I the ritual grew to commemorate all soldiers. It is noble to honor sacrifice and valor.

Who honors the sacrifice and valor of innocent people of Japanese descent, nearly 120, 000 strong, who were seized by the U.S. government in 1942 and incarcerated in 10 isolated concentration camps? Approximately 2/3 were U.S. citizens who had their assets frozen. Japanese Americans made up 1/3 of Hawaii’s population. Mass removal was not completed there due to “labor needs,” but some were sent to mainland camps. After their years of detainment, the release of these Asian Americans in 1945 entailed a transportation ticket and $25.00. In 1988 the U.S. government delivered a formal apology and initiated reparations.

War strips humanity naked, sometimes literally as in the rape and plunder realm, but also figuratively. Many innocent people lose their livelihood and in in some instances, their very lives in continuous wars today. Are we supposed to appreciate such military actions?

Research listed on an official website of the U.S. government, the National Library of Medicine, reports on ill effects upon a soldier’s life in killing in combat in the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Supporting previous research, findings related “…that bearing responsibility for death in a warzone is associated with PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder), depression, anxiety symptoms, suicidality, and hazardous alcohol use.” The researchers isolated “rumination” as a factor for negative post-deployment reactions. PTSD has haunted many veterans for decades.

Who is paying attention to mental health awareness in our government? Mental Health Awareness Month has been observed since 1949, but it is not highlighted enough. Awareness of both physical and mental wellness is not just an issue for soldiers but also for solders’ families.

I want to endorse one government agency, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), for its toolkit of resources with themes on mental health for each week in May:

Week 1 — Understanding mental illness;
Week 2 — Early support matters – recognizing signs in children and youth;
Week 3 — Words matter and words can heal;
Week 4 — Supporting loved ones – connection is a powerful form of care.

Let’s make a better effort, America, to take up these themes as positive action steps all year.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

500. Yes, this is the 500^th question I ask in PoP: What does Memorial Day mean to you?

501. How might you promote mental health awareness?

Collage as a Jumpstart

After packing more boxes than I ever imagined, making a cross-country move, and unpacking all those boxes last summer, I needed a reset. I signed up for a collage class of the 4 seasons at the local community center. Having dabbled in a few collage workshops previously, I found the experience introspective, yet aimless at the same time. This class began my prescription for a renewal jumpstart amidst upheaval.

Our small group made a different collage for each season, interspersing each collage with writing about our contained-on-paper musings. We were given ancient symbols for seasons, a feast of colorful papers including wallpapers, buttons, and trinkets overflowing a table. We began with Spring, the farthest season from our summertime outdoors.

I immediately cut some circles — for circle-of-life? My scissor-handed mind turned to flowers emerging from stardust atoms, origins of everything (including origins of writing) and beauty of Earth’s springtime renewal. My eyes chose a wallpaper with a fairy. “What?” a part me asked, but I snipped the fairy (surrounded by stars) anyway. We were time-limited with the structure of the class, but I finished by selecting 3 trinkets from the teacher’s treasure stash – a metal flower button, a delicate paper flower, and a tiny plastic bird with an open beak.

Here are snippets from my written musings in collage class: Spring has always been one of my favorite seasons. When Winter has been cold and on the fallow side in the garden, Spring bursts through frozen thinking with unending possibilities. I find the Viking symbol for Spring presenting an openness…(checking Google on my cell phone) on Vikings’ Spring: “The Norse goddess Ostara (considered the origin of our word, Easter) is strongly associated with Spring and new beginnings…surrounded by symbols… like flowers and fairies…the Ingwaz Rune, representing a seed or egg, embodies the potential for growth and new life.” When crocuses give birth to themselves, pushing through soil’s tunnel, there is magic for me. I’m even inclined to think of fairies – aren’t they just flowers with petals as skirts? After Winter’s hibernation there is hope with bulbs deciding to stick their necks out…Spring is like that – come out, come out, wherever you are – get blooming.

Collage is a laboratory for artists. When Matisse was in his 70’s, tangled in legal disputes with his wife which resulted in everything in his studio sent to bank cellars, he filled his walls with paper cutouts. Reinvigorated, Matisse discovered what he called “drawing with scissors.” His stained-glass windows for a chapel were designed from his energizing and colorful scissor cutouts. https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2014/mar/29/henri-matisse-cutouts-tate-modern-drawing-scissors

Other artists, including writers, use the joining of collage fragments as a jumpstart for their artistic process. Painter Amy Sillman captures the essence of collage: “…there is something about placing 2 things on the same plane that clarifies their relationship in ways that words, for a time, cannot.”

Collage creates an opening to newness.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

498. What does Spring conjure in your mind?

499. How do you use activities to” reset” yourself?

Mothering Mental Health

What does Mother’s Day mean to you? There is a continuum of responses, as each person has unique and perhaps thorny memories of their upbringing, sometimes without a mother.

Let’s consider a mother of 6 children who lost her mother when she was 5 years old (her mother died during childbirth when a sister was born). This resilient mother is Julia Ward Howe (1819-1910). In addition to motherhood, Howe was a published author and poet, playwright, newspaper publisher, activist in abolitionism and woman’s suffrage, but perhaps best remembered for her Battle Hymn of the Republic as lyrics to the tune, John Brown’s Body. As early as age 20, Howe anonymously published in literary magazines.

Howe’s mother also was a poet in her shortened life. Her father was a Wall Street stockbroker and banker. Due to a mothering aunt and a privileged educational life with private tutors, Howe became a scholar, eventually reading and speaking 7 languages. Raised in her father’s Episcopalian religion, Howe read extensively and came to reject a Calvinistic view. She became a Unitarian; her faith became a strong motivator in her reform causes. Howe was friends with other Unitarian scholars and writers — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Margaret Fuller, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Lucy Stone, and Theodore Parker among others.

Howe’s husband, 18 years older, reportedly wanted a stay-at-home wife, but Howe lectured widely without benefit of stay-at-home Zoom. When her husband confessed to multiple affairs on his deathbed, Howe took the high road and wrote a flattering biography of him. Never assume that “famous” or “upper class” people escape trauma. Each person’s mental health path, regardless of significant losses, has the possibility of restoring a healing journey.

May is Mental Health Awareness month with a theme of “More Good Days, Together.” It is likely that Howe’s time spent nurturing deep friendships was part of her sustaining wellness. With Lucy Stone, Julia Ward Howe established the American Suffrage Association. There are many ways to mother or father in one’s life. Howe mothered a peace movement when she traveled to Europe for the promotion of an International Woman’s Peace Congress.

Howe’s 1870 Mother’s Day Proclamation is a testament to her passion and persistence in peace-building. Over 150 years later, Howe’s poetry has meaning for today; she frames a mother’s love for her offspring and calls into question the “justice” notion that wars can solve problems. See her full Proclamation: https://allpoetry.com/Mother’s-Day-Proclamation

“…our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn / All that we have been able to teach them of clarity, mercy and patience. / We, the women of one country, / Will be too tender of those of another country / To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. / From the voice of a devasted Earth a voice goes up with / Our own. It says: ‘Disarm! Disarm!’ / The sword of murder is not the balance of justice….”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

496. What are your earliest memories of your mother?

497. How do you view motherhood today?

Peace One Plant at a Time

May is a wonderful month! If you are living in the Northern Hemisphere, you might welcome a reset from cold temperatures, a warming up in body comfort. Let’s also warm up peace in our hearts. I am a gardener at heart. I find much peace in gardening. Literally, gardening is grounding. I love the whiff of earthy soil turning over when I dig a hole to plant a new perennial in my garden.

A sweet inhale comes from the many scented blossoms that begin their seasonal run every spring. Angela Haupt (health and wellness editor at TIME) writes about holding a flower’s inhale for just 30 seconds to realize measurable body changes! Not only does your mood smile, but your heart rate slows and your nervous system switches on a calming state.

Cognitive psychologist Pamela Dalton is a researcher of taste and smell at Monell Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia. She explains the science of smell. Our olfaction is so dominant that it evolves before the brain’s cortex, our thinking tool. A sense of smell helps define what we feel and may even be responsible for our survival — as in the case of smelling smoke before a life-threatening fire erupts. Although difficult to believe, the human nose can detect about 1 trillion different scents!

When you inhale a pleasant scent, you do breathe more deeply in the present moment. That deeper breath affects your entire body, including the releasing of muscle tension. Different from touch, hearing, or vision which have to pass through the brain’s thalamus before there is conscious awareness, smell travels directly to your amygdala and the hippocampus. The hippocampus holds your memories, so scent can trigger past emotions you experienced in some memory. Imagine a smell of a special food from childhood. Just a whiff of chocolate contains hundreds of different odor molecules.

Dalton suggests that such scented experiences form very early. Some compounds found in breast milk are linked with chemical properties in vanilla and may be responsible for why vanilla seems universally pleasant to nearly everyone across cultures.

I visited a lilac farm recently and experienced many inhalations of lilacs. While every person responds to scent in unique ways, this is a pleasing scent for me. Some think of lilacs with nostalgia. Seeing graceful lilac blooms swaying in the breeze brought back memories of my childhood home with a white lilac tree.

Lilacs represent peaceful vibes of tranquility with a sense (and scent) of renewal. The delicate blossoms are an early food source of nectar for bees and butterflies. Lilacs of various colors are associated with various representations.

Purple lilacs: Emotions of love and passion; White lilacs: Purity, humility, and innocence; Magenta/pink lilacs: Strong friendships and affection; Blue lilacs: Serenity and happiness; Violent lilacs: Reflection and wisdom.

Let’s embrace the symbolism of peace-enhancing lilacs.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

494. What pleasant scents linger for you from your childhood?

495. What plant or flower gives you bodymind serenity

Earth Day and Pollinator Poetry

Small but mighty is a good description for planet Earth when the Universe is now considered a multiverse with 2 trillion galaxies. If you cannot fathom the theoretical concept of a multiverse, you are not alone.

Let’s take a micro view. Think of small but mighty pollinators on Earth, bees. I recently attended a lecture on mason bees. Like human masons, these bees are builders, recycling clay-like mud or crumbling mortar for nesting. Mason bees are one of the best pollinators in the early spring garden, especially necessary for fruit-bearing trees.

Mason bees are considered highly effective at their pollination posts, pollinating 95% of the flowers they visit compared to about 5% for honeybees. While the females can stinge, Mason females do not use their stingers very often and male Masons do not have a stinger. These are peaceful, non-aggressive bees, perhaps because they do not have big hives to defend. Mason bees are active workers in gardens and orchards for about 4-6 weeks, and then they huddle in their nests. The incredible honeybees take over with their pollination peaking in summer months.

Pollinators have much to teach us. A few hundred Mason bees can pollinate an acre of fruit trees, but they need their mud huts close by as they have only a 300-foot range from their nesting site. Honeybees may travel as far as 5 miles from their hive. To keep their hives healthy, each colony requires an acre of honeybee-attractive blooms within their flight range. Anyone with me enjoying a dab of honey in your tea?

We need bees. We need diversity among bees. We need these tiny flyers as 70 out of 100 major crops are pollinated by bees. A single bee can visit hundreds of flowers in a day, but 55% of America’s bee colonies failed over the past year, likely due to pesticides.

It is the 30^th Anniversary of National Poetry Month (launched in April 1996 by the Academy of American Poets). Poets often celebrate the beauty as well as the concerns of nature. Welsh writer Raymond Williams suggested, “Nature is perhaps the most complex word in the language.”

Long a focus before the phrases “green poetry” or “environmental poetry” became popular, Japanese Haiku had its origins as a meditation on the natural world. Haiku in its traditional form has 17 syllables, with 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the middle line, and 5 in the final line. There are few adjectives or adverbs.

Here is my haiku poem about early spring:

Pansy sentinel Faces sun and snow equally Undaunted resolve

Bees, pansies, and people all require undaunted resolve in sharing our precious ecosystem. Poetry serves a cross-pollination purpose for readers. Renowned Japanese haiku poet Basho recommended that poets “plunge deep enough” into the object of a poem to see “a hidden glimmering there.” Sometimes small but mighty poems are most effective.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

492. Are you growing a pollinator garden?

493. Might you become a pollinator poet?

A Call for Restorative Justice

Restorative Justice (RJ) is an evidence-based practice whose time has not only come, but it is abundantly clear that our entire planet could use a justice reset. RJ is based upon reconciliation, where criminal and inappropriate actions are first viewed as a violation of people and relationships, and not just a violation of social norms and law. Key to the RJ approach is understanding that punitive “treatment” or forced submission in an offender does not produce any increased probability that the offender will engage in appropriate behavior in the future. Actually, such “treatment” is likely to increase resentment in the offender which may lead to future aggression. Only punishing an offender can further damage a fragile relationship between individuals, leaving the survivor(s) with unresolved hurt and suffering.

RJ is a process with trained mediators where the desired focus is upon dialogue between offenders and survivors. Notice that the language for RJ practice is different from the predominant descriptions of perpetrators and victims. This language difference moves away from courtroom apology attempts to actual accountability with an emphasis on repairing harm where possible. Prison time may follow serious infractions, but an accompanying RJ approach allows each person’s history or herstory to be shared in an unhurried and safe environment. Other family or community members, also affected by the harm of the offender, might participate in a RJ peace circle. The opportunity for truth-telling accountability, healing, and prevention of further conflict are desired outcomes.

Circles can also support survivors and work with individuals who are responsible for harm separately. Extensive preparation occurs before bringing together someone impacted and someone responsible for harm for a joint circle, and that only happens when everyone agrees to participate.

Schools are an excellent beginning place to hold RJ peace circles. Instead of treating an offending student with outdated discipline of in-school/out-of-school suspensions, RJ intervention might include teacher, coach, or hall monitor voices, along with the offender and survivor, in a peace circle with a Circle Keeper. If you consider that Black students are referred for “suspensions” (and/or school expulsion) about 3 times more frequently than white students, you begin to link this discriminatory pattern to similar lopsided numbers in prison populations. Black Americans are incarcerated in state prisons at 5 times the rate of white Americans.

Who listens to the stories of youth who may have been survivors in their homes and/or communities before they became offenders at school? Many students feel unsafe at an early age. This is a beginning time to intervene with reconciliation that promotes accountability.

Bernard Hosey’s rusted steel sculpture in a sphere of twisted V shapes and curved arcs is described as “a relic from an ancient civilization or a blueprint for intersteller travel.” The title, Pre-Mathematics, recognizes that there is an origin for everything. This notion when applied to human aggressive behaviors — including lethal behavior like family or societal war — addresses causes that came before a current provocative cause. Aggression and violence erupt out of a lineup of causes. When will we take the time to address the causes proactively that came before the straw-that-broke-the-camel’s-back cause?

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

490. Who are you when you feel safe?

491. Who are you when you feel unsafe?