Jan’s Blog Posts

Could you use a few personal stop signs for a more peaceful life? Our planet could use a few global stop signs to curb all ways of violence.

William Phelps Eno, referred to as “Father of Traffic Safety” is given credit for inventing and promoting usage of stop signs. Born in New York City in 1858, he experienced an indelible memory as a 9-year-old child with his mother in Manhattan when they were entangled in a horse-and-carriage traffic jam. Later Eno quipped, “There were only about a dozen horses and carriages involved, and all that was needed was a little order to keep the traffic moving. Yet nobody knew exactly what to do; neither the drivers nor the police knew anything about the control of traffic.”

In 1900, Eno wrote his essay, Reform in Our Street Traffic Urgently Needed. Three years later Eno created the first known traffic code for New York City. Following up, he developed traffic plans for Paris and London.

Recipient of a hefty inheritance when his father died, Eno had freedom to create a brand-new career — traffic management. In addition to realizing a desperate need for stop signs, Eno also designed the pedestrian crosswalk, the one-way street, the taxi stand, and pedestrian safety islands. He is perhaps most famous for his “traffic circles.” There were almost daily accidents at Columbus Circle (Manhattan) where his rotary planning coalesced in 1905. Eno specified that traffic must keep to the right and circle the driving pattern in one direction, not two different directions. With safety as his muse, Eno continued his rotary plans at the Arc de Triomphe (Paris, 1907), and Piccadilly Circus (London, 1926).

Eno established the Eno Center for Transportation (Washington, D.C.), a think tank for improving transportation that continues today. He espoused 3 ingredients for accomplishing any worthwhile project:

1. “We must have concise, simple and just rules, easily understood, obeyed and enforced under legal enactment.

2. These rules must be so placed and circulated that there can be no excuse for not knowing them.

3. The police must be empowered and ordered to enforce them…men [and women] should be trained for that purpose.”

With Eno’s law-and-order legacy, it is curious that he never drove a car — he never learned to drive, despite being given an honorary driver’s license in France in 1912. Were traffic accidents unresolved trauma for him? He lived a long (and presumably safe) life, dying at age 87 from pneumonia. Perhaps Eno felt safer on water than on city streets; he was the first owner of the steam yacht named Aquilo, meaning “the ancient Roman personification of the north wind.”

Our planet could benefit from less long-winded rhetoric and more “urgently needed” agreement on “simple-and-just” rules for safe living, both on roads and elsewhere. Stop signs are reminders that everyone’s safety counts.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

237. Where do you need a stop sign in your personal life?

238. What rules might you suggest for the safety of everyone?                   

November is National Native American Heritage Month. American school children have been fed a regurgitated Pilgrims-and-Indians Thanksgiving story which continues to permeate our culture today. Early in the 20^th century a Seneca Indian, Dr. Arthur C. Parker, requested the Boy Scouts to recognize a day honoring “first Americans.”

Parker was born in 1881 on the Cattaraugus Reservation (Seneca Nation of New York) to Frederick Ely Parker, who was one-half Seneca, and Geneva Hortenese Griswold, of Scots-English-American and Christian missionary heritage, a schoolteacher on the reservation. Parker’s family moved to White Plains, New York, where he entered public school at age 11 with a budding interest in the American Museum of Natural History in New York City. He became an assistant archaeologist there before attending college. Befriended by Frederic Putnam, professor of anthropology at Harvard, Parker was encouraged to study anthropology. It took years before following through, as Parker first tried on his grandfather’s plan for him to be a minister; he left seminary before graduation.    

Parker became an incredible historian for his culture, as well as an archaeologist, folklorist, and museologist. He was one of the founders of the Society of American Indians to educate the public about Native cultures. His devotion to Native American lore is best demonstrated by this noble account of a fire in the New York State Capitol:

“Parker entered the building while it was ablaze and made his way up to the 4th floor…to save priceless historical artifacts. He brought a tomahawk, which had been passed down through the generations in his family, and began smashing display cases, saving as many items as he could. Of the approximately 500 Iroquois artifacts…he was able to rescue about 50 of them before the spreading fire made any further salvage efforts impossible.”

In 1990 President George H.W. Bush signed into law the month of November to honor the pearls of Native American culture, traditions, and achievements. One way to honor “first” heritage is to acknowledge the land you’re on – the Art Institute of Chicago built on lands of the Potawatomi, Ojibwe, and Odawa Native Americans.

According to historian and Potawatomi member John Low, the Potawatomi believed, “…the land is Mother Earth. You can’t own it — it’s like owning air, owning the stars.” The local tribes were tolerant and welcoming to Europeans, assuming these newcomers’ intentions were peaceful. Diagonal trails became Milwaukee Avenue and Ogden Street.

In 1833, the Treaty of Chicago outlined how members of the Potawatomi, Odawa, and Ojibwe nations living in Chicago had to leave. Along with cash payments for their land, the tribes were promised other land — east of the Mississippi River, in northern Wisconsin or Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. John Low’s people, the Pokagon Band of the Potawatomi, possessed a bargaining chip to remain; they had converted to Catholicism. What happened to freedom of religion?

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

235. When do you remember to give thanks for Native American contributions?

236. What ways can you incorporate your thanks into your Thanksgiving preparations?

Survey results show that mental health and substance abuse numbers remain high 3 years after COVID’s rude viral entrance. The overall drug overdose death rate had a 50% rise in the U.S. during the pandemic. While this death rate increased in all ethnic and racial groups, the increased rate was greater for people of color. White folks make up the larger portion of deaths due to drug overdose in a year, but the numbers for people of color keep rising. The numbers for 2021 are chilling: American Indian Alaska Natives’ drug overdose deaths were 56.6 per 100,000, while Black people had 44.2 per 100,000 and White people had 36.8 per 100,000.   

According to CNN/KFF polling (October, 2022), 90% of U.S. adults say mental health is in a crisis in the United States. KFF or Kaiser Family Foundation (endowed initially by industrialist Henry J Kaiser) is a non-profit health information organization that has interest in global as well as national health. In addition to the stark increase in drug overdoses, other mental health concerns reported by participants were loneliness, job loss, financial instability, sickness, and grief.     

The Pew Research Center reports that 89% of Americans cited at least one negative change in their lives during the pandemic, while 73% listed at least one unexpected positive; 67% experienced both negative and (at least one) positive change as the pandemic gripped the nation. Women were more likely to report negative consequences than men, with the single-most reported negative outcome relating to belonging — people missed family/friend connections.  

A research team studying 7,000+ U.S. adults published their results in December, 2022, in PLoS ONEon personality changes during the pandemic. They had a ready population for study in their longitudinal monitoring of “Big Five” personality traits since 2014. There did not appear to be significant changes in personality through the start of the pandemic. However, as the COVID fallout just kept rolling into 2021-2022, personality changes emerged:

• “Extraversion: We became less likely to seek out company and enjoy time with others;
• Openness: We lost capacity to seek out novelty and engage with new ideas;
• Agreeableness: Sympathy and kindness declined, affecting our ability to get along with others;
• Conscientiousness: We became less motivated to pursue goals and accept responsibilities.
• Neuroticism: The sharpest decline occurred in younger adults during the pandemic; they became more angry, anxious, irritable, and depressed.”

While some thrived during the pandemic, many others did not. Since the “worst” pandemic death strikes (before vaccines were available), our global world has entered two war crises. There have been more U.S. mass shooting tragedies than days in 2023. We have polling numbers, but what about solutions to underlying problems?

One take-away message is that we cannot escape change. Irish playwright and critic George Bernard Shaw said it best: “Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything. “

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

233. How are you changing your mind in pandemic times?

234. Where are unexpected positives today?  

Thirteen of the world’s religions have similar wording for the ancient Golden Rule as a moral compass for followers. Compiled by interfaith consultant Paul McKenna, the following list is in alphabetical order (https://static1.squarespace.com/):

Bahá’í Faith:  Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself. Buddhism: Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful.                                        Christianity: Do to others as you would have them do to you.                                                          Confucianism: One word which sums up the basis of all good conduct….loving-kindness. Do not do to others what you do not want done to yourself.                           Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you.       Islam: Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself.                 Jainism: One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated.                      Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary. Go and learn it. Native Spirituality: We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive. Sikhism: I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all.   Taoism: Regard your neighbor’s gain as your own gain and your neighbor’s loss as your own loss.                         Unitarianism: We affirm and promote respect for the interdependent web of all existence of which we are a part.        Zoroastrianism: Do not do unto others whatever is injurious to yourself.

Each listed religion has an accompanying symbol. Many contain either circular or semi-circular images which suggest unity or “oneness.”   

The “Platinum Rule,” like the Golden Rule, is about communication and relationships. Made popular by a book, The Platinum Rule: Discover the Four Basic Business Personalities and How They Can Lead You to Success, authors Tony Alessandra and Michael J. O’Connor claim that the Platinum Rule is not at odds with the Golden Rule but is a “more sensitive” version: “Do unto others as they’d like done onto them.” The idea is to recognize that people are NOT wanting/needing exactly the same things.

The authors set up 4 personality “styles” under their definition of Platinum Rules; they believe “…everyone basically exhibits one of these styles – Directors, Socializers, Relaters, or Thinkers.” Furthermore, they explain that categorizing another’s needs-based-cues is not for the purpose of manipulating them but is a “…way to speak their language.”

Actually, people are not so easily defined. Most of us have personality parts dipping into each “style” (and many more) depending upon the situation. Aspects of Platinum-Rule-thinking that “work” are empathy for differences plus pausing before rushing into any conversation. Ask yourself, “Can I listen well?”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

231. How do you adjust your personality when talking with certain people?

232. What rules do you follow in everyday relating?

Last weekend I was with an amazing group of therapists at a retreat center in Northern Michigan, a lovely hideaway with no TV availability. I enjoyed the break from heart-breaking catastrophes in Ukrainian families plus the lack of political civility and problem-solving in U.S. Congress. Listening to music stations on my car radio while driving home, I was unaware of the devastating attacks upon Israeli families.

My mind is a wandering journeyer as you know if you have read any of these Monday blogs. While my home TV screen flashed one terrorist trauma after another, I recalled the Terracotta Warriors in Xi’an, China. On a trip over 20 years ago, I grasped an eyeful of the tenacious and long-standing nature of war.

Close to the unexcavated tomb of Qin Shi Huangdi, the 13-year-old self-proclaimed first emperor of China in 221 B.C.E., lies a mammoth burial of an estimated 7000 warrior army of life-size terracotta soldiers. Standing strong with near-life-size horses (plus a few chariots), row- upon-row warriors seem formidable even in clay. Assembly-line production of Qin’s terracotta army shows modern technology; bodies were mass typecast, but separate head molds for warriors were individualized to reflect different soldiers.  

Qin reportedly did not embrace Confucianism (common elsewhere in China) where the belief was that well-run governments might follow similar tenets of well-run families – mutual obligation and respect. Instead, Qin’s version of ruling was “legalism” where punitive laws were the norm. Conquering a vast frontier through massacre and destruction, Qin built fortifications which became the basis for the Great Wall. Not only did this dominant Chinese leader plan for his immortality, but he is accredited with many innovations. Qin standardized currency and writing, as well as built advanced roadways and canals to connect regions of China. Were these roads built so soldiers could more easily reach distant lands?

War is horror, both for soldiers as well as the slayed or traumatized survivors. The 22-square-acre Terracotta Warrior site delivers harsh realities: war is ancient and often humankind’s go-to version of political problem-solving. What have we learned from wars about problem-solving possibilities? The unfolding Israeli-Hamas tragedy seems destined to deliver yet another sad example of how war is not situated in any solution camp.

John O’Donohue (1956-2008), Irish theologian, philosopher and poet, had an uncanny wisdom: “… for so many of us…we have to be in trouble before we remember what’s essential.” How much trouble do people have to endure before acknowledging our essential connection with one another?

I often turn to John’s gift of words when grieving some loss. The loss of peace and justice for so many people around the globe seems overwhelming. Fortunately, John’s philosophy survives him. He asked good questions. I am recalling John’s words from a therapist workshop with him in 2006: “Where do unrealized possibilities hang out?”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

229. What lessons do you take away from our planet’s perpetual wars?

230. Where do your unrealized possibilities hang out?                                

We can thank the United Nations’ International Conference on Discrimination Against Indigenous Populations in the Americas (meeting in Switzerland in 1977) for Indigenous Peoples’ Day. The first U.S. celebration took place in Berkeley, California, in 1982 to mark the 500^th anniversary of Italian Christopher Columbus’ landing in the Americas. Gradually other cities and states adopted the reframed holiday. Naming and claiming truth are first steps to any positive change.

In 2021 President Biden set Indigenous Peoples’ Day in motion as a country-wide holiday with these Proclamation words: “…a day in honor of our diverse history and the indigenous peoples of our diverse history…people who contribute to shaping this Nation.” Currently, 29 states no longer celebrate Columbus Day; 195 cities renamed the second Monday in October as Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Canada has embraced a national holiday recognizing contributions of indigenous people since 1996.

This day recognizes that Native people were treated as intruders despite their spiritual connection to their ancestral lands for generations. Biden recognized that many indigenous people are leaders in environmental causes. In 2020 he named the first Native American Secretary of the Interior to his Cabinet, Deb Haaland, a prior member of the House of Representatives and a 35^th generation member of the Pueblo of Laguna (in currently named “New Mexico”). Both of Haaland’s parents served in the U.S. military; her mother was employed in the Bureau of Indian Affairs.  

The Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian has worked for over two decades to esteem the stories and achievements of Native communities while debunking tragic myths—including the false fairy tale that Christopher Columbus “discovered” America.

While there are detractors to the new national holiday, the correction of white peoples’ history lessons for our children is crucial. Perhaps the most important children to receive a corrected, factual history are Native children. Discrimination runs rampant throughout the sacred lands of these youngsters who are more likely to suffer from gender violence, substance abuse, and various health challenges as they age. Bringing attention to this holiday, while uncovering scars of old issues, may enable a change in the nation’s psyche toward First Nation people (Canada’s name for indigenous peoples).

Discrimination is rampant in other populations as well. October 7^th was Ageism Awareness Day, as named by the American Society on Aging (ASA). We need to reframe aging; it is estimated that 50% of the U.S. population has some negative bias toward any seasoned citizen, my preferred naming instead of old fart, codger, geezer, or “dirty” old man. While ageism joking may seem funny initially, no, we are not age 39 forever. Naming is salient. At the annual ASA conference, participants are encouraged to tell everyone their actual age with pride.

Now, let’s address our sports teams that use First People naming without any permission.  

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

227. What discrimination in U.S. culture can you name today?

228. How might you take some positive action to address this discrimination?   

It seems impossible to believe that the U.S. has a need for an annual Banned Books Week, but library activist Judith Krug was contacted by the Association of American Publishers in 1982 about rising concerns over book-banning. Krug then contacted the American Library Association (ALA) Intellectual Freedom Committee. Within 6 weeks, the first Banned Books Week was launched. This year’s week is October 1-7 with the theme, “Let Freedom Read!”

Concern over which books are “OK” for students’ knowledge and educators’ curriculum choices have escalated since the 1980’s. Furthermore, in 2011 the American Association of School Librarians named a Banned Websites Awareness Day, as school librarians reported that their schools were utilizing filtering software in school libraries. For speaking out, some librarian and teacher jobs are on the chopping block.  

In 2022 ALA documented skyrocketing cases of banished books – 1,269! This nearly doubles book challenges reported in 2021 – 729. PEN America (Poets/Essayists/Novelists) lists even greater numbers. Why were books censored? Most were written by or about two discriminated groups of folks – the LGBTQ+ community and persons of color, plus a few other reasons.

Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White was deemed unacceptable by a parent group in Kansas. They objected to talking-animal main characters and the theme of death, demanding book- banning in their school library. The Lorax by Dr. Suess was banned in a Laytonville, California Public School due to parents’ concerns that teachers were “brainwashing” children. This time a death fear related to dead trees — might students initiate an uprising against logging in the state?

ALA President Lessa Kanani’opua Pelayo-Lozada posts this response to book banning: “Closing our eyes to the reality portrayed in these stories will not make life’s challenges disappear. Books give us courage and help us understand each other.”

As a psychologist, I am appalled at the banning of books. Who decides for the rest of a community or country that certain books should be censored from youth? I agree that there may be certain ages that may be better choices for the introduction of certain books, but I do not think we should take books off the shelves of ANY school or public library. Education about “difference,” including death, is necessary for an informed education. When we do not have open discussions about differences, we operate out of a fixed (and closed) mindset. Book banning stifles our democracy.

As an author, I am appalled at the banning of books. It takes much time and dedication to write a book.

How long does it take a pearl to form? Estimates are that a freshwater pearl may develop within 6 months or up to 6 years to reach the average finish line. Many books take longer. To have one’s book banished at a one-time school board meeting by a few vocal parents is frightening.  

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

225. Have you engaged in discussions over banned books?

226. What actions might you take today to support freedom of speech?   

How many individuals observed Thursday, Sept 21^st as the International Day of Peace? War actions in Ukraine did not seem to take notice, but honeybees were partnering for a productive and peaceful hive on a gorgeous goldenrod plant as Autumn makes its debut. The United Nations initially recognized this day for intended non-violence in 1981. The World Council of Churches has recognized Sept 21^st as an International Day of Prayer for Peace (since 2004).

The U.N. set this year’s theme as “Actions for Peace: Our Ambition for the #GlobalGoals.” The overarching goal of the International Day of Peace is to recognize both individual and collective responsibilities to bring about peace; 17 development goals set by the U. N. are named:

No poverty

Zero hunger

Good health and well-being

 Quality education

Gender equality

Clean water and sanitation

Affordable and clean energy

Decent work and economic growth

Industry, innovation, and infrastructure

Reduced inequalities

Sustainable cities and communities

Responsible consumption and production

Climate action

Life below water

Life on land

Peace, justice and strong institutions

Partnerships

Who does not want development in these goals as a blueprint for progress for the next precious generations? And yet, we have little agreement in the human hive about HOW we can move forward in problem solving in our own country.

Participant countries meeting in New York last week were asked to choose an issue from this blueprint for peace and make positive actions happen. There is a mobile app (by AWorld – “because there is no Planet B”) to track progress in meeting the 17 goals. For the app-happy, you too can participate at https://www.un.org/actnow.

The Jewish High Holy Day, Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, began last evening at sunset after 10 Days of Awe, a time set aside for introspection and repentance. Individuals might volunteer their time as one way to atone. The sacred holiday lasting 24 hours is observed with a fast and by people making amends for their errors as well as offering forgiveness for others’ errors. This powerful annual discipline of atonement is a practice for peace in our fractured world.

Errors are ever-present, but atonement is scarce. Forgiveness is a key ingredient in every healthy relationship, whether between family members, friends, colleagues, neighbors, or countries.

Peace needs our collective attention. I am reminded of this motto for peace (erroneously attributed to Jimi Hendrix) by UK prime minister William Gladstone (1809-1898): “When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”                   

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

223. Which of these 17 goals might you embrace today?

224. What are some steps you could take in partnering with others on the goal you selected?

Theologian Howard Thurman, the first African American dean of chapel at a traditionally white U.S. university (Boston University) taught, “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 

Thurman likely was referring to being intellectually, interpersonally, and spiritually alive, but it takes a bodymind approach to be “alive” actively. Having the energy for aliveness is a necessary first ingredient. For those with physical limitations, this bodymind talk can be off-putting, but I do not intend for anyone is be left behind on some off-ramp that does not apply to them. Let’s investigate possibilities.

A recent article in the New York Times featured 97-year-old Elaine Lalanne, widow and business partner of fitness guru, Jack Lalanne. Jack was a proponent of exercise aliveness with his brand of fitness moves on a daily TV show for 34 years (1951-1985). He modeled what he preached, exercising up to his death at age 96.

Elaine continues to shape up aliveness with this mantra: “20 minutes a day gets me on my way.” She starts her routine before leaving her bed in the morning with 25 jackknives. While at her bathroom sink she engages bodymind with incline push-ups. After dressing, her routine finishes in a home gym. With machine guidance, she walks uphill on her treadmill and then finishes with lat pull-downs on other equipment.

Here is a kickstarter: “Everything starts in the mind,” Elaine advises. Having the discipline to exercise one’s physical body is key. But there is more to the story. Jack had this advice: “Exercise is king. Nutrition is queen. Together you have a kingdom.” Bodymind integration is one path to aliveness. Working out a traditional way was good for the Lalanne couple.

• What about exercise for those without fancy equipment? PBS and the internet offer wonderful exercise programming.
• What about exercise for those in wheelchairs or those with limited overall mobility? On a PBS TV station in the morning, there are two chair-exercise programs; one features chair yoga (in beautiful outdoor settings to inspire you) and another promotes half-hour stretches accomplished from a seated position. The internet provides many variations of exercises from a wheelchair.
• And what about exercises in spirituality? I find a morning Mindful Reflections meditation group (started during the pandemic) as well as a church community meaningful.

Let’s come full circle to embrace more of Howard Thurman’s wisdom: “The hard thing when you get old is to keep your horizons open. The first part of your life everything is in front of you, all your potential and promise. But over the years, you make decisions; you carve yourself into a given shape. Then the challenge is to keep discovering the green growing edge.”

To embrace “aliveness,” keep growing in all bodymind ways.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

221. How do you describe “aliveness?”

222. What are your exercises for growing aliveness?