Tag: change

A Cynicism Climate vs. Warm Fuzzy Terrain

Whatever happened to warm fuzzies, defined as feelings of happiness, hope and well-being?

Stanford University professor of psychology, Jamil Zaki, directs the Social Neuroscience Lab. Zaki and his colleagues find that the rate of U.S. citizens feeling unhappy and mistrusting of others is at a high point.  His book, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness, disagrees with a common belief that cynics are more perceptive than optimists. Research results show that cynics perform worse in cognitive tests. Cynicism is a destructive force. It can impact one’s well-being. While cynicism may appear to be protective, as in keeping people from taking advantage of you, it is linked to loneliness and losing out on potential collaboration. According to the Pew Research Center, a 2024 study surveyed 6,200 adults in English and Spanish about their well-being and social connections; they found that 1 in 6 Americans feel lonely or isolated most of the time.

“Cynicism is easy. Anyone can do it. Change is hard. That takes us.” Cody Keegan, speechwriter for President Obama, wrote his own speech for a New York University commencement address; this was his advice to graduates.

Jamil Zaki advocates “hope mixed with fury” to inspire genuine change. He suggests that one needs to fact-check their cynicism through increasing a sense of curiosity and first questioning their own beliefs. When one engages in conversations with strangers, or those known to hold opposing political viewpoints, there is an opportunity for two-way growth. 

Having an open mind is a hope-fueled possibility. Hope promotes personal happiness. Zaki fosters a positive spin on collective hope: “Hope doesn’t mean accepting that things are actually great when they’re not — it means acknowledging that things are awful, but that many, many people want them to improve.”

Psychologist Andrea F. Polard, founder of Zen Psychology and author of A Unified of Happiness: An East-Meets-West Approach to Fully Loving Your Life, is another peddler of hope. Her recommendations for taming your inner cynic are the following:

  1. Look deeper, feel deeper. 

Embrace your own cynicism by looking more deeply into your anger. Anger often hides our disappointment. Sometimes we project our disappointment onto the whole of society. Be brave. Confront the pain that your cynicism may hide.

  1. Find inner peace. 

Relate to others by identifying your own attachments. Admit your own biases and shortcomings. Make peace with your own human condition. [Remember, it takes us, all of us.]

  1. Try to work with imperfections constructively. 

A person does not change because someone despises them. Participate in dialogues. Be assertive against injustice and hypocrisy but lead with examples of alternative behaviors.

Be as strong as a pussy willow branch. In spite of a wild spring snowstorm that threatened a tornado, catkins flourished on strong branches that could bend in the wind, hail, and snow.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

381. How often do you catch yourself in a cynical part of your personality?

382. What might you do to increase your hopefulness?                 

Change: A Pearl-in-the-Making

Autumn is a good time to consider something that needs changing in your life. As more leaves change colors and eventually give way to their new legacy of providing mulch, envision a change or two for yourself. As R. Buckminster Fuller said, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

Architect Buckminster Fuller was an intuitive systems thinker and futurist. His penchant for creating not just the amazing geodesic dome structure, but also new words, gives us a blueprint for our personal changes. Fuller both coined and initiated the field of Synergistics. His interdisciplinary approach encourages lateral thinking and incorporating nature: “I am confident that humanity’s survival depends on all of our willingness to comprehend feelingly the way nature works.” It is the feelingly comprehension of ALL of us that sent my mind on a search for a further explanation of Fuller’s ideas.

Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School, Amy C. Edmondson worked as Chief Engineer for Fuller during the last three years of his 87-year life. Edmondson wrote Fuller a letter as an undergraduate student, asking him what people might do to make our planet work for everyone. What a wonderful question for each of us!

Edmonson’s easier-to-comprehend description of Synergistics is ALL about changing our mindset, something that I fully endorse as a psychologist (Fuller Explanation: The Synergistic Geometry of R. Buckminister Fuller). Ready for some mindset change? I have found a few beginner pearls in Synergistics (and life):

  • Let curiosity guide you. Say “image-ination” like Fuller (instead of imagination), because we are the architects of our images.
  • Self-directed examination of patterns and structure in nature will educate you.
  • Stop lying to children by saying, “Watch the sun going down.” This made me wonder why I say, “sunset.”
  • Fuller reminded audiences that we are accustomed to believing that reality is comprised of what one sees, smells, touches and hears, while we actually “live in a world of invisibles.”
  • “…there are no solids; matter consists exclusively of energy.” This is deep.

Most of us will not be known for BIG-C creativity as in Fuller’s producing 28 U.S. patents that gathered recognition in multiple honorary doctorates, but we exhibit little-c creativity whenever we change our mindsets.

Take a peak at Fuller’s childhood. Born to successful leather and tea merchant parents and grand-nephew of Margaret Fuller, the ardent women’s rights advocate, Fuller attended a Froebelian Kindergarten where he was influenced by the same geometric building blocks as Frank Lloyd Wright. This suggests to me that we need to wean school-age children off their gadget dependence to encourage more self-directed mindsets as in creative play, especially in nature.

As British primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall reminds us, “Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

335. What difference are you making?

336. What is your current change or pearl-in-the-making?            

Indigenous Peoples’ Day and/or Columbus Day

What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look now. I’m changing!”

Change is cumbersome even if you have a traffic-light mentality of its-green-for-MY-car.

According to https://renamecolumbusday.org/ over 200 cities and 29 states have renamed Columbus Day as Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Some states acknowledge Indigenous Peoples’ Day in terms of a proclamation; others celebrate it as federal holiday. Name changes include “Native American Day” in South Dakota, “Columbus Day + American Heritage Day” in Alabama, and “Discovery Day” in Hawaii.

Regarding Christoper Columbus, he reportedly never reached the North America continent; on October 12, 1492, Columbus reached an island that today is part of the British Bahamas. Believing his discovery was a grand route to India, he called the people he met “Indians.” Columbus was not the first European “discovery” explorer to cross the Atlantic successfully, as Vikings reportedly kept a short-lived second home in Newfoundland in the 11th century…so our grade school stories about Columbus were fake news? A factual Founding Father, Thomas Paine, wisely captured such disparities as the Columbus distortion in his 1776 Common Sense pamphlet: “A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.”  

While some have this opinion, “You’re trying to change history – you’re confusing our grandchildren,” others want to rename the second Monday in October “Italian Heritage Day.” Still others would like to take a vote on whether to rename Columbus Day. With a current divided country, it could end up being a 50/50 election.

Ever curious about people’s values and how they think about a topic, I did an informal survey over the weekend. I asked individuals to vote for their naming preference. More people favored Indigenous People’s Day, although combo-naming was one person’s opinion in being inclusive and honoring Italian heritage. A tongue-in-cheek response likely speaks for many: “I call it a day off work.”

Indigenous People’s Day has enjoyed federal recognition since 2021, with the Biden administration proclaiming the second Monday in October “a day in honor of our diverse history and the Indigenous peoples who contribute to shaping this Nation.” Wording in the 2024 Indigenous Peoples’ Day presidential proclamation is critical language for today: “…we recognize that it is hard work to heal the wrongs of the past and to change course and move forward, but together, nothing is beyond our capacity.” 

Discrimination continues to hamper needed changes. Why do we recall the names of the three ships of the Columbus expedition decades later? Schools may teach the ship names (the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, in case you forgot), but we do not represent Native American names in our current entertainment industry. Less than 1% of Native Americans work in this field.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

333. What is your vote for naming the second Monday in October?

334. Beyond saying the names of the early people who settled our city lands at community gatherings, how might we correct cultural narratives about Indigenous people?