Tag: projection

Nonverbal Cues as Personality Parts

Pablo Picasso. Bust of a Woman in a Flowery Hat (Dora Maar), 1943. Courtesy Lucien Paris. This painting existed in a private collection for 8 decades but entered public space this month and will be sold at auction October 24, 2025.

Picasso’s paintings of faces can intrigue or annoy. One does not move away quickly. There is a depth that holds one’s focus, allowing one’s mind to travel sideways. My mind travels to Internal Family Systems “parts” model (originated by marriage and family therapist Richard Schwartz). This evidence-based psychotherapy is one I studied and find practical in explaining human behavior.

When I look at Picasso’s portrayal of lover and muse Dora Maar, I see multiple parts of personality depicted. Picasso is a master painter of Rorschach-like faces. There is color shock, but more importantly, there is shock from differing facial details from what one expects. Was Picasso capturing complexities of Dora or was he projecting his own complexities onto canvas? Dora’s words would suggest the latter, referencing her lover’s fragmented renditions of her with disdain: “All his portraits of me are lies…they’re all Picassos. Not one is Dora Maar.”

Well, that is no surprise! We project our “stuff” (“parts” or feelings, beliefs, sensations and actions) all the time, although we often fail to “catch” what we are revealing about ourselves.

Have you ever watched a person’s face turn “colors” when they told you their story about an event? Did their ruby cheeks of embarrassment then shift into your own feelings of embarrassment about some time in your life? We frequently act as mirrors of one another. I see fear in the eyes of this painting. Is this because I have a fearful part about the current violence on our world stage? According to a Smithsonian report, Picasso had fears of Nazis in the time frame of both this painting and his anti-war Guernica masterpiece with its horse-eye fears. Both painter and observer project personality “parts” in varying degrees.

Have you noticed when a person is lying that they often do not maintain eye contact? (There are other possibilities for not keeping eye contact, but lying is one possibility). Other than eyes, perhaps the most obvious thing we watch in another is whether they are smiling at us and how wide their smile is. A smirk smile is vastly different from a friendship smile. These seemingly small details send nonverbal signals between individuals that there is safety, or not, in current relating.

One interpretation of the limited smile on the portrait of Picasso’s lover is intriguing: “[it] perhaps hints at the shadow of a faint, sorrowful smile,” states Agnés Sevestre-Barbé, a Picasso specialist. This painting occurred during World War II during Hitler’s reign when Nazis forces had surrounded Paris where Picasso’s studio was located. The time also coincided with an impending break-up of the 9-year relationship between Picasso and Maar. Picasso met Maar when he was 54 years-old and she was 28. The part plot thickens. Picasso reportedly left Maar after meeting his next conquest, 21-year-old Francoise Gilot.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

432. When have you looked at another’s face and made an instant leap to “read” them?

433. Do you practice “catching” the part(s) of you projecting onto another?

Anger Remedies

As a long-time student of problem-solving and conflict resolution, I am troubled by the news cycle of raw conflicts in our country. Animosity too often turns to not-so-veiled threats or violent behavior against an imagined “other.” Political individuals report a slew of death threats and in some unbelievable instances, they or their family members have been violently attacked. Anger is palpable from town hall meetings to houses of worship.   

Margaret Cullen, a marriage and family therapist as well as a mindfulness teacher, identifies what is happening when anger’s slippery slope devolves into cruelty and/or violence. She gives a first-person accounting: “When I reflect honestly, I notice that my most volatile reactions are tied to things I hate in myself—places I’ve missed the mark or failed to live up to my own ideals. Outrage becomes a shield, a projection, a way of disowning what is hard to face internally…easier to demonize the other than to wrestle with my own complicity.”  Such truth-telling seems like a place to begin a much-needed remedy to anger.

Cullen’s upcoming book, Quiet Strength: Find Peace, Feel Alive, and Love Boundlessly Through the Power of Equanimity, might be required reading for politicians. As Cullen outlines her approach, an ethical value system is key: “Simply put: Unethical conduct breeds agitation; ethical conduct fosters peace. And agitation is fertile ground for outrage and projection to take root. Throw in some social media and global instability, and you are well on your way to zealotry. Peace is fertile ground for perspective and clarity to grow. Toss in some honest self-reflection and an intention for greater integrity, and you can harness the energy of outrage toward creative solutions and effective engagement.”

Yes, self-reflection, insight, and an awareness of one’s value system are always a good idea, whether the topic is anger or anything else. However, we do not see things clearly much of the time. We experience anger or some other strong emotion and imagine that it is “justified.” We do not recognize that our anger rides shotgun in the front seat of our personality pickup truck as a protector from fear, insecurity, and other tender parts of ourselves. I reflected upon this lack of self-clarity when I looked through a clouded-over glass window in a door in my new home. The murky window blocked my view of roses growing outside this doorway. Once the double-pane failed glass was replaced, roses could be appreciated with clear sightlines.   

I appreciate the metaphor in a Scottish tune, Looking at a Rainbow Through a Dirty Window (by Scottish Uilleann piper and flute player Calum Stewart, arranged for harp by Rachel Hair). Listening to peaceful music, especially with others, is a remedy for what ails. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyp3p3gRQcQ

Are you looking for rainbows and peaceful, creative solutions these days? I am.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

431. When do you catch yourself projecting your own outrage onto an “other” person?

431. How might we best enhance ethical conduct in groups of people?