
Seed pods fly unfettered creation cruising aloft seeking common ground
Change is the definition of nature. Poets offer creative change themes and often use nature metaphors. Few words were needed in my Japanese-inspired haiku to capture “change.” Give it a try — you may surprise yourself with your simple change-of-pace experience.
Why do we rebel so much when changes occur? Transitioning is constant throughout the lifespan. Children cascade into transitioning from one developmental stage to the next. Each child transition ripples into parents’ own transitioning in how to relate to these budding change-makers. Many parents (and some kids) resist making transitions. People cling to their present status because of fears. Parents want to protect children from unknown dangers. Let’s face it – our parental fearful parts of our personalities want protection for us too! Loss of “the way things were” can trap us and prevent inner peace. But our survival demands change. Consider how our breath changes from inhale to a brief pause, and onward to exhale with brief pausing before the change-cycle repeats.
Many change lessons are available in the garden. I’m savoring autumn days when plants are winding down productivity while planning their legacies. Wafting seeds make sure new sprouts will flourish into more Rose-of-Sharon trees next year. I gave away multiple little Rose-of-Sharon start-ups. Yet, I find more fledgling entrepreneurs under lush raspberry bush foliage. Some plants and people are more prolific than others in their transitioning growth.
Consultant William Bridges described transition as a psychological time that involves both inner redirection and self-redefinition. Bridges’ three stages of transition include: an ending, a neutral zone or in-between state, and new beginnings. My version of transitioning is a recycling process. I find that transitioning cycles are ongoing. I favor using the verb, transitioning, as well-lived years require ongoing mental/physical movement…well, changes.
- Initial transitioning involves saying good-bye to what you are losing. What ends in leaving a school/job/career/relationship? Belonging and ability needs may go unmet initially. Befriending what is ending in your life includes finding what you might keep.
- The muddling-middle of transitioning is where confusion and angst may pile up. Your body may feel tense. You may experience vulnerability when you are “lost-in-a-maze” of feelings and unmet needs. Your energy may plummet. This is a clue for you to tend to yourself with great care.
- Personality rewiring carries possibilities. Bridges advised: “Things go slowly for a time and nothing seems to happen—until suddenly…the branch blossoms…when the endings and the time of fallow neutrality are finished…we can launch ourselves anew, changed and renewed by the deconstruction…[of] outlooks of the old life phase.”
With COVID numbers beginning to recede, we are transitioning (AGAIN).
Pearls of Peace (PoP) quiz:
20. What changes are needed in your life post-COVID?
21. What will help you make transitioning moves?
Jan—I am in awe of your interweaving of the seasons in nature and our own transitions and “re-weaving”.
I’m house -bound for awhile and looking back on the “chapters “ of my life, making your thoughts especially timely
and helpful. I’m in the chapter of “Life Review” described by Erik Erickson. Thanks for your reflections.
Nancy
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Many of us have some version of being “house-bound” during this COVID pandemic. You are a model for all of us in making good use of your solitude time to tend and befriend yourself!
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