Hostility is a trainload of energy that can go off-track. Wear Orange Weekend (June 7-9) commemorated victims and families of gun violence, which can derail entire communities. One estimate is that 120 individuals are shot and killed every day in America (with twice as many suffering wounds from gunfire).
The U.S. movement of Wear Orange began in 2013 after the tragic killing of 15-year-old Hadiya Pendleton, a student at King College Prep High School. She was shot in the back while standing with friends on a Chicago playground only one week after marching in President Obama’s inaugural parade. The 18-year-old gunman was sentenced to 84 years in prison, admitting that Hadiya was not the intended “target.”
Hadiya’s friends began honoring her life by wearing orange, the vibrant color worn by hunters to alert other hunters that they share space in the woods. It seems unbelievable but guns lead as the cause of death among American children and teens.
Prominent psychologist Abraham Maslow was asked a question in a 1968 magazine interview for Psychology Today: “If a …young psychologist came to you today and said, ‘What’s the most important thing I can do in this time of crisis?’ what advice would you give?” Maslow replied: “I’d say: Get to work on aggression and hostility. And we need it now…time is running out. A key to understanding the evil which can destroy our society lies in this understanding.” 50+ years later we still are not addressing aggression and hostility with enough urgency.
While June 7th, Hadiya’s birth date, was the 10th National Gun Violence Awareness Day, June 8th was named National Best Friends Day by the U.S. Congress in 1935. Enthusiasm for the day has waned, but we need affirming friendships more than ever. I wonder if those who take another’s life have any best friends.
According to National Today’s survey of 1000 adults (https://nationaltoday.com/national-best-friends-day/), 19% named their dog as their best friend and 9% named their cat. When asked if they had a best friend, 15% answered no. Happily, many reported that they do not have only one best friend!
Primary-care physician and poet Jeremy Nobel authored Project UnLonely: Healing our Crisis of Disconnection (2023). His words might apply to individuals who shoot people: “When we are too lonely for too long, the way we make sense of the world changes, leaving us increasingly at risk for even greater loneliness. We fail to thrive and flourish, we get sick, we spread the affliction to others, and we die before our time.”
What signals violence ahead? There are many tracks that can lead to gun violence, but the most powerful predictor of future violence is a history of violent behavior according to the American Psychological Association. We must “get to work” on prevention. Let’s address the needs of young children and their parents. Let’s hunt for peace.
Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz
297. Is your best friend an animal?
298. Do you know anyone who seems disconnected and needs friendship?
Pearls of Peace: A Family Psychologist’s Circle-of-Life Blog 