Holiday Relationships & Wellness

In a spider web, everything is connected. Everything you do is connected to others. No one can do everything alone. Celebrating holidays is best when celebrating in healthy ways with others!

Blackfoot scholar Dr. Leroy Little Bear looks at the big picture and captures everything: “Existence is a web of relationships. What you do to the land, to the animals, to the water, you do to yourself.”

Little Bear tells about dreaming that he was a bubble. His wife also was a bubble. He joined their bubbles. Half awake, he asked if his dream was real; the joined-bubble dream appeared a second time. When Little Bear shared his dream with his wife, she gave this interconnected interpretation: “I know what you are thinking…if we spread this among relatives, things will happen. Everybody is of one mind.”

As we roll through this holiday season, interconnected relationships are a key ingredient. In fact, relationships are key everywhere. According to Little Bear, the Western mind focuses on the social values of bigger and faster. To consider the social values in the Blackfoot mind, think about energy waves always in a state of flux. This is also scientific-minded territory. For an example of how this relational way of thinking might translate to the workforce, think team building, shared authority, and treating employees like a work family. As Little Bear suggests, this approach often results in team players producing better quality work.

Little Bear was instrumental in being part of creating Indigenous studies 50 years ago (in college at the University of Lethridge in Canada). Since many of us were not privy to Indigenous college courses, try on some Indigenous ways of relating:

• Think holistically and relationally, rather than through the narrow lens of an individual paradigm;
• Emphasize interconnectedness not just with your relatives and best friends, but also with land, spirit, and community for mental wellness and healing — understand life as energy, not just facts; 
• Consider how language, story, dreams, and holiday rituals may shape pathways to healing.

Considering a lifetime of teaching, advocacy, and cultural stewardship, Little Bear challenges us to understand what thinking globally means as a rhythm of relational connections. He recalls his childhood when he heard both of his parents always singing! Yes, music is one of our best connectors. I go to many choral concerts and always feel a sense of renewal in the company of singers who harmonize with each other as if they are of one mind.   

What about the times when you are with relatives or friends and you do not sense any renewal of lifelong tuning in one-mind relating? There are good reasons, you say. Figure out where the disconnect story began. I have a “throw” pillow that says, “Home is where your story begins.” Start there.  

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

458. Do recall any dreams that hold special meaning for you?

459. How does telling your stories to a good listener bring lifelong tuning?