Tag: Golden Rule

School Days…Golden Rule Days?

“…Let’s take a trip on memory’s ship / Back to the bygone days… / School days, school days / Dear old Golden Rule days / ‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic / Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick….”

Did you sing this in childhood? OK, I’m dating myself. As a youngster in rural Indiana, it was a well-known song. Thankfully, I never was spanked either at home or in school, although many children receive this wayward discipline. The 1907 song was composed by Will D. Cobb and Gus Edwards. Imagined crooners were adults looking back on childhood experiences in elementary school. Were Cobb or Edwards paddled in school?

As a new school year is in first gear, it rattles my psychology training that in 2025 corporal punishment remains “legal” in private schools in every U.S. state except Illinois, Iowa. Maryland, New Jersey and New York. What educational textbooks are these educators reading? And to make it clear that private education is not the only believer in spanking, it is also “legal” in 17 states in public schools (supposedly “practiced” in 12 states). Spanking is not a healthy choice for either the inflicted child or the perpetrator doing the spanking. As a family therapist, I taught parents and kids, “Hands are for hugging, cooking, playing and ____________________; hands are not for hitting.”

An online Newsweek article (8-22-25) reports that a nonprofit organization, Lawyers for Good Government, has investigated corporal punishment. Sadly, their findings are that Black children comprise 37.3% of the inflicted, and disabled children make up 16.5% of the incidents. This discrimination is disgraceful.

In case you wonder, here are the 17 states allowing corporal punishment in schools: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Missouri, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, and Wyoming. Florida made a recent concession – parents must give consent — and “it depends upon the school” in 4 more, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Tennessee.

There is hope for change to archaic discipline in schools. According to Elizabeth Gershoff, Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences, University of Texas at Austin, “…school principals either realize that school corporal punishment is not effective at improving student behavior, that it is not necessary, is cruel and physically harmful, or that it could lead to lawsuits from parents of children injured by school corporal punishment.” 

Sarah Font, Associate Professor of Sociology and Public Policy, Pennsylvania State University, suggests, “…instilling proper respect for authority figures” and adults who received spankings believing they learned something, are reasons the outdated practice exists, despite research that corporal punishment does not improve long-term behavior.

Justin Driver, Professor of Law, Yale Law School, states, “Public school students are the only group of people in American society who government officials strike with impunity for modest transgressions.”

Who is educating government officials? Who educates the educators?

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

423. Were you spanked in childhood at home or school?

424. What effects have you observed in individuals who were hit by teachers and/or parents?

Beauty in Character

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, although every month needs to have perennial awareness of bodymind health. The ancient words attributed to Chinese philosopher Confucius or K’ung Fu-tzu (551 BCE-479 BCE) reflect how important mentally healthy families are to a peaceful planet: “If there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character. If there is beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the home. If there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nations. When there is order in the nations, there will be peace in the world.” 

While we do not have any accurate accounting of the childhood or family life of Confucius, there is undisputed history about China being in a time of ideological crisis then. The Zhou Empire had held ruling power for a 500-year span, but feuding hereditary families began eroding a sense of Chinese traditions. Some elite regional rulers lost track of a concept of beauty in the greater good. They became competitive with their dynasty ruler for  wealth and women.

Diminished moral principles were the impetus for Confucius’ ideas. He spoke with a systemic view of his beloved country’s leadership. Confucius taught that a leader must lead by positive example – teaching virtue, living with integrity, exercising self-discipline, remaining humble, and treating people with compassion. Confucius believed that mutual moral obligations were a country’s unifying force. His teachings promoted learning virtue so that a leader’s subjects would follow lawful living. This plan-ahead approach is as true for effective parenting as for wise politics.    

While Confucius died believing that his philosophy had not reached people in any significant way, his teachings prevailed, becoming the recognized official philosophy of China for a time. He had attracted a motley crew of disciples — aristocrats, merchants, farmers, artisans, and criminals. Some Chinese still follow Confucianism, as well as some folks in Japan, Korea, and Vietnam.

Confucianism is not an organized religion, but rather a guiding discipline for “beauty” in one’s character (ethical behavior). Treating others well is a mainstay in mental wellness. Confucius and his followers promoted love for humanity, ancestor worship, respect for elders (seasoned citizens in my words), self-discipline and compassion. Loving others while possessing self-discipline (ren) is summarized by his rendition of the “Golden Rule” — “What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.” (Lunyu or The Analects of Confucius, 12.2, 6.30).

This familiar teaching is part of every world religion. It is repeated multiple times in the Analects. The beauty-in-character message does not imply easy solutions. Another impact saying attributed to Confucius involves how to teach (or parent) another: A teacher only “...points out one corner of a square;” their mentee must “…come back with the other three.” (Analects, 7.8).

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

393. What are the 3 top virtues that you choose to live by?

394. How do you believe we might reinforce beauty-in-character lessons for today’s children?