Tag: problem solving

Eclipse Pearls

Photography by Tobias Yoder

Two photographers changed the notion that photography is a solo venture by teaming up for a year-long research gig on how to get the best pics of the next total eclipse. Canadian wildlife and nature photographer Liron Gertsman and Texas bird photographer Tobias Yoder traveled together to Spain. Each had taken spectacular eclipse photos in 2024 and were on a quest to capture the perfect eclipse photo in 2026.  They were not just looking for perfect weather conditions. They also were in search of a great white stork!

It turns out that Spain held the best eclipse opportunity. Spain also lays claim to possessing the largest stork breeding population in Europe. The pairing of this great bird with an eclipse shot was irresistible. With over 50,000 breeding pairs of white storks to choose from in Spain, the intrepid photographers went on a stork-nest hunt.

Oh, there was a third element desired in the perfect shot – either a church bell tower or a castle tower, please! Yoder created an app to help define eclipse possibilities, utilizing his background in software development. The determined photographers split up their tracking map, each searching for appropriate sites. They drove to nest locations, always on the lookout for nests on towers.

A particular church bell tower with a stork nest perched on top was pre-selected as “the one.” Yet, the big unknown (in addition to weather), was whether a given stork would return to its bell-tower nest by 8:30 PM local time. The stork-nest hunters visited their ideal location for 3 evenings before the big day. On two of the evenings, the picture-perfect stork returned to roost before the 8:30 time slot. One evening was a late night out, but Gertsman reasoned that their stork shot would be successful due to effects of an early darkened eclipse sky. Only arriving 30 seconds before eclipse totality that special night, the chosen stork became a collaborator, offering its silhouette in stunning stillness.

Just to make sure their photo adventure would not be a bust, the photographer innovators had set up backup cameras in a location far away. They programmed this second shoot to begin 15 minutes pre-eclipse and keep snapping away approximately every 5 seconds. Fortunately, their secondary location also delivered. It was an awesome photography evening!

For more photos from that lucky night, see https://petapixel.com/2026/08/19/two-photographers-spent-a-year-planning-the-perfect-eclipse-photo-and-success-came-down-to-30-seconds/?ck_subscriber_id=2584255186&utm_source=convertkit&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Start%20packing%20to%20avoid%20this%20common%20regret%20-%2023021000

How much of our lives do we overshadow our own curiosity and creativity? We can be inspired by the grit (passion + perseverance) shown by these photographers. Their intention to collaborate paid off with unique results. How might we encourage others to take on peaceful projects that inspire creativity? As “Nickel Creek” Grammy Award-winning guitarist and singer-songwriter Sean Watkins suggests, “Only the curious have something to find. “  

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

528. When have you captured a photo of a unique slice of nature?

529. What has to happen to you to feel awesome joy?                    

Procrastination Interruption

Are you tied up in knots by “I would have, I could have, I should have _______” self-talk? How often do you interrupt your progress in meeting a goal with procrastination? If you have ever relied on procrastination’s crutches, you have lots of company. The procrastination part of me lingers too long on some projects. Let’s interrupt our procrastination!

Retired professor and researcher of procrastination at Carleton College in Canada, Timothy Pychyl maintains that poor time management is not the cause of procrastination; rather, the culprit is our emotional regulation. The key reason we avoid doing something is not due to lackadaisical time management, but the task at hand generates some uncomfortable emotion – fear, anxiety, and/or self-doubt.

Research by Pychyl found another procrastination myth — that we work best under pressure. While stress might force you to complete something, it may not result in your best work. You may gain an adrenaline rush and believe that without pressure, it’s difficult to “find” motivation.

Pychyl prefers to call procrastination a choice. For example, we may choose to read some self-help book instead of addressing a distracting emotion. We may learn some information and tell ourselves, “I learned what I need to do!” When we take in some new information in this way, there may be a temporary relief that we are closing in on a solution. Brains love learning. In learning there is a sense of “solving” some concern. Yet, research suggests that this fleeting satisfaction might get in the way of actual motivation to follow up with actions. After all, most of us are elaborate excuse-makers.  

It is good to learn about change! Actual change is the real pearl.

So, what is the procrastination story? Pychyl writes a “Don’t Delay” blog with Psychology Today. He advocates taking small, achievable steps to address both your stress level and deliver a jumpstart to your motivation. In an interview with Eric Zimmer, the creator of “The One You Feed” podcast, Pychyl offered tips from his book, Solving the Procrastination Puzzle: A Concise Guide to Strategies for Change:

  • Present-self explains there is benefit from procrastination. Future-self reaps the results.
  • Ask yourself, “How are you actually going to implement this goal?” Your implementation intention can start the engine of motivation.
  • Leverage a positive habit you already have: “After I brush my teeth, my next morning action is _______________.”
  • We do not do projects; we do actions.
  • Follow this quote by a monk: “You’ve got to give the monkey something to do.” 
  • Most of us seem to believe that one must be in the mood to do something, that motivation proceeds action. However, it’s often the other way around.

Research offers ways to interrupt our procrastination: take action! I would add, be curious; greet your exiled emotions like old friends: “Ah, you always have my back. Let’s take baby steps together!”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

524. When do you catch yourself procrastinating?

525. What project calls out to you to interrupt procrastination?   

Mothering Mental Health

What does Mother’s Day mean to you? There is a continuum of responses, as each person has unique and perhaps thorny memories of their upbringing, sometimes without a mother.

Let’s consider a mother of 6 children who lost her mother when she was 5 years old (her mother died during childbirth when a sister was born). This resilient mother is Julia Ward Howe (1819-1910). In addition to motherhood, Howe was a published author and poet, playwright, newspaper publisher, activist in abolitionism and woman’s suffrage, but perhaps best remembered for her Battle Hymn of the Republic as lyrics to the tune, John Brown’s Body. As early as age 20, Howe anonymously published in literary magazines.

Howe’s mother also was a poet in her shortened life. Her father was a Wall Street stockbroker and banker. Due to a mothering aunt and a privileged educational life with private tutors, Howe became a scholar, eventually reading and speaking 7 languages. Raised in her father’s Episcopalian religion, Howe read extensively and came to reject a Calvinistic view. She became a Unitarian; her faith became a strong motivator in her reform causes. Howe was friends with other Unitarian scholars and writers — Ralph Waldo Emerson, Margaret Fuller, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Lucy Stone, and Theodore Parker among others.

Howe’s husband, 18 years older, reportedly wanted a stay-at-home wife, but Howe lectured widely without benefit of stay-at-home Zoom. When her husband confessed to multiple affairs on his deathbed, Howe took the high road and wrote a flattering biography of him. Never assume that “famous” or “upper class” people escape trauma. Each person’s mental health path, regardless of significant losses, has the possibility of restoring a healing journey.

May is Mental Health Awareness month with a theme of “More Good Days, Together.” It is likely that Howe’s time spent nurturing deep friendships was part of her sustaining wellness. With Lucy Stone, Julia Ward Howe established the American Suffrage Association. There are many ways to mother or father in one’s life. Howe mothered a peace movement when she traveled to Europe for the promotion of an International Woman’s Peace Congress.

Howe’s 1870 Mother’s Day Proclamation is a testament to her passion and persistence in peace-building. Over 150 years later, Howe’s poetry has meaning for today; she frames a mother’s love for her offspring and calls into question the “justice” notion that wars can solve problems. See her full Proclamation: https://allpoetry.com/Mother’s-Day-Proclamation

“…our sons shall not be taken from us to unlearn / All that we have been able to teach them of clarity, mercy and patience. / We, the women of one country, / Will be too tender of those of another country / To allow our sons to be trained to injure theirs. / From the voice of a devasted Earth a voice goes up with / Our own. It says: ‘Disarm! Disarm!’ / The sword of murder is not the balance of justice….”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

496. What are your earliest memories of your mother?

497. How do you view motherhood today?   

Mothers with Soft Power

Wellesley Centers for Women (WCW) held a colloquium (October, 2025) for 120 participants, “Mothers Without Borders: The Phenomenology of Mothers’ Soft Power in Peace Building.” The event was coordinated by Senior International Scholar-in-Residence Hauwa Ibrahim, J.D., S.J.D., M.L. In a keynote address former WCW executive director Susan McGee Bailey, Ph.D., explained the importance of this initiative: “Mothers understand that shaping a better world starts with each of us…We can’t change everything quickly, but we can change everything…By believing in ourselves and our vision, we can initiate major changes, not only in our own homes, but throughout the world.”

In her keynote address, Her Royal Highness, Nahla Al-Qassimi, Ph.D., associate professor and chair of Women Empowerment Council at Ajman University, United Arab Emirates, echoed mother-power: “A mother’s love is the most borderless thing on Earth…when mothers connect, the world becomes kinder, brighter, and stronger.”

Nigerian lawyer Ibrahim outlined mothers’ soft power (using persuasion, not coercion) with a poignant story. In Nigeria 337 girls were kidnapped in 2014 by Boko Haram, an insurgency opposing Western culture influences in their country. One captured kidnapper was tortured for 3 years because he refused to speak with authorities about his actions. However, when his mother was allowed to talk with him, she needed only 3 words before her son broke his silence. Ibrahim outlined women’s quiet resistance and soft power in influencing decision-making in men in power, especially regarding governing without use of force.

Women Without Borders has big plans for the world’s big problems. Her Royal Highness Dr. Al-Qassimi introduced soft-power initiatives in Beijing at the Global Engineering Congress. Lt. Gen. Fernando Giancotti of the Italian Air Force took the concept home with him to Rome after attending the colloquium. Assistant Inspector General Aishatu Abubakar Baju, Nigeria’s senior female police officer, carried mothers’ soft-power thinking to Johannesburg where she spoke at the African Women in Law Enforcement Conference.

On a sunny afternoon at San Diego Zoo and Safari Park, I saw 2 lions communicating; the male lion roared first. The female roared back. Back and forth for a few loud moments, there were clear signs of some relationship. Then the tour guide said the lions were brother and sister. But what was the message? Here are possibilities:

  • Bro: “Can you believe that breakfast this morning?”   
  • Sis: “We can’t really complain because we did not have to hunt all night for today’s food.”  
  • Bro: “You always stick up for the Government of Zoo.
  • Sis: “I am living in the present moment.”                                                                                               

Consider some soft-power behaviors within meerkat packs. They take turns watching out for their pack while most are digging 5-8 hours above ground for food. If a predator threatens, the patrol-kat whistles a high-pitched alert. Young pups have many helpers in their pack. We will make progress on our precious planet when human mothers and fathers understand and use soft power.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

464. When have you used soft power?

465. Have you ever regretted using aggressive/coercive power?  

Solstice and Meditation Pearls

This year the winter solstice is also World Meditation Day, thanks to the United Nations. Both events hold a reverence for our place in the Universe.

The solstice honors Earth’s axis slanting away from Sun, delivering the shortest day and longest night of the year in the Northern Hemisphere (reversed in the Southern Hemisphere) on December 21st. It is a long-celebrated event around the world. While the earliest solstice celebration is unknown, archeologists Peter Biehl and Francois Bertemes made a fascinating discovery in Germany in 2002. They excavated a 7,000-year-old enclosed circle near the Halle-Wittenberg University, finding that the Goseck Henge has two “gates.” These openings line up with the start of the summer and winter solstices. Might this be the world’s first solar observatory?

Other places are better known as solstice subscribers as they have impressive structures that frame Sun as it rises: Ireland’s Newgrange, England’s Stonehenge (on the same latitude as Goseck and nearly the same longitude), and Mexico’s Chichén Itzá. Each bears witness to how observant early people were about Earth’s rhythm of changing seasons. Celebrating winter solstice may have begun as a gratefulness for completed harvest time, making time for rest and reflection. Feasts often accompany solstice festivals.

Ancient Rome celebrated Saturnalia to honor the sun god Saturn with offerings and gift-giving. By the 1st century BCE this celebration morphed into week-long partying. Many believe that Saturnalia festivals set the stage for modern-day Christmas traditions of feasting, candle-lighting, and exchanging gifts.

Indigenous people in the U.S. also had early celebrations on winter solstice. Hopi Native People celebrated Kachina Season with ritual ceremonies and dancing. Kachina figures have been found on rock art from 1350 CE. There is a reverence for kachinas, symbolic protective spirits. Kachina dolls, symbolizing prayer wishes, are given as gifts to young girls.

World Meditation Day links with solstice traditions in terms of reverence for and celebration of life. This United-Nations-recognized global event received unanimous adoption in the General Assembly on 12-06-24. The 2025 theme embraces all people’s traditions and faiths: “Inner Peace, Global Harmony.” There is an emphasis on an individual’s stillness and mindfulness as ingredients that lead to compassion, mental wellness, and peaceful actions. Mindfulness is the practice of paying attention to what is happening in the moment rather than focusing on fixing the past or fantasizing futures.

As a star-gazing fan, I applaud those who mindfully watched seasonal changes set to solstice times. And I embrace the global emphasis of World Meditation Day. As a daily meditator, I’d like to see meditation taught in our schools. Rather than waiting for behavior problems to crop up on the playground and in school hallways, why not be proactive and teach mindfulness practices to children and adolescents? Meditation, journaling, and focused mindfulness practices can transcend many differences among individuals.  

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

456. What does winter solstice mean to you?

457. How might you engage in mindfulness practices and create more inner peace for yourself?

Emodiversity Complexity

Computer Complexity

It turns out that negative emotions are useful. Whether you initially agree or not, stay tuned for a different slant on pesky emotions. Jordi Quoidbach has a Ph.D. in Psychology from University of Liège, Belgium, and spent several years as a Postdoctoral Fellow at Harvard; he studies happiness and decision-making. Quoidbach’s research into emodiversity (a piggyback idea from biodiversity) suggests, “…people who experience a diverse range of emotions…tend to be healthier, mentally and physically.” With increased emodiversity, his research found decreased depression, number of doctor visits, and days hospitalized per year in participants. 

Having emodiversity means acknowledging a variety of emotions in your day — allowing for frustration, disgust, jealousy, gratitude, tranquility, and elation. Quoidbach explains: “…it is not just having a diverse range of positive emotion, but we also find that having a diverse range of negative emotion is better than having a narrower range of negative emotion.”

My understanding of so-called “negative” emotions is that they are protectors, often shielding an individual from some unacknowledged small-t trauma situation (or a big-T trauma such as a natural disaster). When one can accept that there is a reason why a “negative” emotion pops into consciousness, there is a possibility of coping with one’s history. It is not useful to ban emotions when they can serve as maps that lead to problem solving. Often the mapping of a “negative” emotion takes one on a follow-the-memory consciousness back to an earlier year when some event triggered alarm. Such memories still sting from youngster years.

Quoidbach’s research relates to correlation, not causality. However, his steps to increase emodiversity might serve as stepping stones for a deeper dive down memory lane’s complexity:

  1. Create an Emotions Matrix
    • Audit your emotions for a week. Jot down each emotion you recognize in quadrants: 1. Pleasant, high-energy emotions (joy or excitement are examples); 2. Pleasant, low-energy emotions (perhaps serenity or relief); 3. Unpleasant, high-energy emotions ( such as anger or disgust); 4. Unpleasant, low-energy emotions (boredom or sadness are examples).
    • Ask, “Why am I not more diverse? Am I afraid of experiencing specific feelings? Maybe [that’s] because I’m afraid that some stuff will come out?”

       2. Put Yourself in Situations That Evoke Certain Emotions

    • Establish the areas in which you may want to expand your emotional life. Recognize how often you evoke those feelings.
    • Recognize if you never feel angry; it may suggest that some inner conversations could prove useful.
    • Also, if you are constantly chatty and cheerful, consider experiences that allow for you to be still and calm.

    3. Expand Your Emotional Vocabulary

    • Make an effort to name your emotions. Then expand your emotional vocabulary. It could prove useful to use words from ancestral native languages.
    • Quoidbach relates, “When you learn new words for emotions, you start paying attention to situations differently… you expand the range of emotions you experience.”

    Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

    452. When are you most aware of your emotions?

    453. Are there times when you feel shame for an emotion?

    Swimming Times

    As I watched salmon swim upstream to spawn last week, I marveled at their persistence. Salmon are genetically programmed to swim to the precise water of their birth to lay their eggs. Salmon hatch in a fresh-water birth before migrating downstream to the saltwater ocean for about 4 years. Through magnetoreception and their sense of smell, most salmon know how to swim back to their birthplace. They spawn in the stones of gravel beds of small creeks. Some eggs are not under gravel for protection; I saw sea gulls trolling a stream for a take-out order of the small-pea-sized snack.

    Each female salmon can lay up to 3000 eggs. After several months the eggs hatch into larvae with attached lunch bags; each “sac” holds some remaining yolk for feeding. When they run out of yolk, they must leave their gravel nest and begin eating plankton. It takes up to 3 years to become good swimmers and gain their camouflage spots. They also grow silvery scales to visually confuse future predators. Their resilience and adaptability are impressive despite dire odds. An estimate is that out of one salmon’s 2000-3000 eggs, only 4-5 survive for an ocean adulthood.

    Salmon form “schools” or community with other salmon; they swim far from spawning territory to find deep-sea feeding. In returning “home” they stop eating. Despite their great stamina, they face many trials. They experience exhaustion. Death from high temperatures, parasites, and disease are possibilities for those that escaped predators such as seals, sea lions, sharks, orca whales and human fishing. The Pacific salmon and most Atlantic salmon die within a couple of weeks post-spawning. In the circle of life, salmon decomposing bodies release inorganic nutrients to the plankton. Scavenger animals descend. Change is constant.

    We can identify with salmon and their challenging upstream-swimming effort. Adaptability and resilience are requirements for human constant changes.

    Weather changes deliver spontaneous opportunities for adaptability. During a 1-hour morning trip to Seattle, there were 4 periods of fog suddenly dropping a dusty curtain that felt as though dusk was fast approaching. Fog is visually confusing. Cars adjusted their speed initially. With similar weather stealth, brilliant sunshine swept the highway clean each time. Sightlines were sparkling again.

    Isn’t this the way one’s consciousness drifts from cognizant present time to murky moments where timely vision seems impaired? Weather changes are as sudden as consciousness changes. When murky moments take over, there can be dire consequences.

    Perhaps our most important moments occur when we catch ourselves losing track of clear-sightedness. We must choose our focus. We must find our swimming community. We must be persistent. As Bob Dylan reminded us in 1964, The Times They Are A-Changin’ — “If your time to you is worth saving / Then you better start swimmin’ or you’ll sink like a stone.”

    Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

    450. When you realize your murky moments settling like thick fog, how do you emerge from this state of mind?

    451. How might you increase your resilience and adaptability?    

    School Days…Golden Rule Days?

    “…Let’s take a trip on memory’s ship / Back to the bygone days… / School days, school days / Dear old Golden Rule days / ‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic / Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick….”

    Did you sing this in childhood? OK, I’m dating myself. As a youngster in rural Indiana, it was a well-known song. Thankfully, I never was spanked either at home or in school, although many children receive this wayward discipline. The 1907 song was composed by Will D. Cobb and Gus Edwards. Imagined crooners were adults looking back on childhood experiences in elementary school. Were Cobb or Edwards paddled in school?

    As a new school year is in first gear, it rattles my psychology training that in 2025 corporal punishment remains “legal” in private schools in every U.S. state except Illinois, Iowa. Maryland, New Jersey and New York. What educational textbooks are these educators reading? And to make it clear that private education is not the only believer in spanking, it is also “legal” in 17 states in public schools (supposedly “practiced” in 12 states). Spanking is not a healthy choice for either the inflicted child or the perpetrator doing the spanking. As a family therapist, I taught parents and kids, “Hands are for hugging, cooking, playing and ____________________; hands are not for hitting.”

    An online Newsweek article (8-22-25) reports that a nonprofit organization, Lawyers for Good Government, has investigated corporal punishment. Sadly, their findings are that Black children comprise 37.3% of the inflicted, and disabled children make up 16.5% of the incidents. This discrimination is disgraceful.

    In case you wonder, here are the 17 states allowing corporal punishment in schools: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Missouri, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, and Wyoming. Florida made a recent concession – parents must give consent — and “it depends upon the school” in 4 more, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Tennessee.

    There is hope for change to archaic discipline in schools. According to Elizabeth Gershoff, Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences, University of Texas at Austin, “…school principals either realize that school corporal punishment is not effective at improving student behavior, that it is not necessary, is cruel and physically harmful, or that it could lead to lawsuits from parents of children injured by school corporal punishment.” 

    Sarah Font, Associate Professor of Sociology and Public Policy, Pennsylvania State University, suggests, “…instilling proper respect for authority figures” and adults who received spankings believing they learned something, are reasons the outdated practice exists, despite research that corporal punishment does not improve long-term behavior.

    Justin Driver, Professor of Law, Yale Law School, states, “Public school students are the only group of people in American society who government officials strike with impunity for modest transgressions.”

    Who is educating government officials? Who educates the educators?

    Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

    423. Were you spanked in childhood at home or school?

    424. What effects have you observed in individuals who were hit by teachers and/or parents?

    Communicate Perils or Pearls

    Jitish Kallat, Public Notice 3 (The words communicate 2 historical moments: A speech by social reformer Swami Vivekananda on 9-11-1893 and the terrorist attacks on 9-11-2001), Art Institute of Chicago

    In an interview with psychologist Jill Suttie, journalist Nicholas Carr details social media history and its variable effects upon the public. The telegraph and telephone arrived in the 1800’s. The first commercial radio station followed in 1920. As a wireless telegraph, radios provided Morse codes to ships and lighthouses where wires could not reach. Then came an onslaught of radio news, music, and perhaps most important – opinions that dominated the one-size-fits-all airwaves for mass consumption. Some complained that radio was “dumbing down the population.” A dangerous force of radio’s power was when German Nazis took over radio stations in the 1930’s and communicated their propaganda.

    Carr makes the argument in his book, Superbloom: How Technologies of Connection Tear Us Apart, that more efficient communication does not equate with better communication. He refers to research that suggests that learning more about other people does not lead to liking them more or even understanding them more. In fact, finding out the various ways that another person is different from one’s self-perception can lead to disliking that person. Simply put, people tend to focus on differences more than similarities and we dislike “the other” who is “different.”

    Currently our online lives can overwhelm us with massive amounts of information which we filter through our existing biases. Another problematic issue is that folks are addicted to social media. Carr states it well: “We’re not being manipulated to act in opposition to our desires. We’re being given what we want in quantities so generous, we can’t resist gorging ourselves.”

    Social media outlet algorithms find what we use regularly and then load us with similar topics. With the oncoming AI locomotive barreling down media tracks, who can escape this runaway train? AI offers virtual “companions.” Is this communication or manipulation?

    A sidecar in social media is the “Influencer.” The definition of an Influencer is an individual who is able to generate interest in something by posting about it on social media. Initially an Influencer was a celebrity (think Elon Musk who was, or still is, an Influencer of the U.S. President), but today’s Influencers can be anyone with a large following on social media. This is enough content about communication perils.

    Where are the communication pearls? Communication skills are key in relationships, careers, and world diplomacy. We simply must teach children effective communication and problem-solving skills. Early in my career I was part of a small group of psychologists teaching Myrna Shure and collaborator George Spivak’s Interpersonal Cognitive Problem Solving, later renamed I Can Problem Solve (ICPS). I worked with Myrna at Hahnemann Medical College and Hospital (Philadelphia) and her 8-week curriculum for students from preschool to 6th grade. ICPS engages both teachers and parents in training children on how to think and communicate with an understanding of alternatives. Much communication requires alternative problem-solving steps.

    Who teaches adult versions of I Can Problem Solve?

    Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

    403. Who are your social media Influencers? ‘

    404. What communication skills do you use daily? 

    Memorial Mammals

    Blue whale skeleton, Natural History Museum, London

    Gigantic blue whales (100+ feet long) were rescued from extinction in the 1960’s. Hunters gorged on profits from whale meat, oil, and baleen. Blue whale numbers fell from nearly 350,000 to approximately 400 in the late 20th century. While these mammals slowly grow in numbers, they remain an endangered species due to marine pollution and climate change on an uptick.

    Today is Memorial Day when we mourn a different mammal’s demise – humans (average height 5.5 feet). In addition to pollution and climate changes that threaten humankind, our species seems fixated on wars. It is impossible to know an approximate numbers of soldiers and civilians who lost life in war-related “hunting” in different desired profits, especially land grabs, and/or power over certain “others.”

    I received an education about war and its lingering trauma effects when working with veterans in my family therapy private practice. I cannot imagine being sent to a far-away place and then hunting down the people who live there, whether soldier or civilian. How could one know from a distance if a person was the intended target? The term “collateral damage” bothers me. Civilian casualties are considered murder in circumstances not bound by military definitions. Veterans in countless wars shot their guns “in the air” rather than killing another of their kind. When we give air to all the stories from veterans, perhaps we then might engage in civil problem-solving.

    However, it is no wonder that veterans decline to speak about their experiences. They carry an emotional backpack that they believe they must hide and protect. Who can make the personal decision to dishonor their government’s orders? Returning Vietnam soldiers felt scammed when realizing the war hoax of a President who did not know how to end disastrous results. Coupled with personal value systems shattered, soldiers suffer silently.

    I once participated as a volunteer in an innovative program called Vet Art. We used forms of art to engage Vietnam War veterans in coping with their lingering trauma. Like my veteran clients, both men and women soldiers told war grief stories of shame and guilt. While listening to and caring for other vets in a safe group environment, soldiers discovered that their emotions were universal although each had unique ways of exiling the pain they lugged through current life.

    Americans have a lot to learn about grieving from the Dutch. Beginning in 1945 Dutch citizens “adopted” the graves of 8,301 U.S. soldiers buried in the Margraten American Cemetery. Considering U.S. soldiers their liberators in preserving democracy, Dutch families have preserved this grave adoption for 70 years. Many graves are passed on, generation to generation, even writing the respectful grieving ritual into wills. Dutch families search for and contact families of their adopted fallen soldier. On Memorial Days, some biological family members attend ceremonies with their Dutch-adopting family. Might such cross-culture caring keep us from extinction?

    Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

    397. What stories linger for you about war experiences?

    398. How might you honor cross-culture sacrifices today?