Tag: personality parts

Personality “Weeds”

My definition of a “weed” is a plant in the wrong place. Ralph Waldo Emerson was more philosophical: “What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.” As I pulled mighty weeds in my side yard with some that had fluff-ball heads getting ready to explode their seed, I wondered where they came from, as no other part of my garden had this pest. Then I peeked through the fence where a host of the rascal plants were blooming undeterred in my neighbor’s yard.

Perhaps the neighbor was a fan of Carey Salerno’s poem, The Weeds (Accidentally on Purpose): “I watched the first weeds burgeon and decided this was the summer /  I wouldn’t stop them, every inch of crabgrass, every foot higher /  the woody stem of nightshade… /   When faced with all that overgrowth, doesn’t some large part of you want to /  watch it manifest more, just a little bit, to see how wild things really /  can get… /  if I can get myself to see it that way, to let myself feel what it’s /  like to let anticipations go, to learn to revel in what might seem more like /  mess but could just be learning….”

Or, perhaps the neighbor had read Jake Eagle’s and Michael Amster’s book, The Power of Awe: Overcome Burnout & Anxiety, Ease Chronic Pain, Find Clarity & Purpose – in Less than 1 Minute Per Day, where almost any topic might become awe-inspiring! Mindfulness author Amster finds the practice of tuning into weed awe instructive for teaching resilience to flourish in difficult conditions:

“Weeds are remarkable teachers. They grow in places where nothing else seems able to survive. They push through cracks in sidewalks, emerge from gravel, and thrive in harsh conditions with little water or care. Their resilience is extraordinary…some had delicate purple blossoms. Others displayed geometric patterns more beautiful than many cultivated plants…the only reason we call them ‘weeds’ is because they are growing where we don’t want them. How often do we do the same with people, things, experiences, or parts of ourselves?”

Yes, we do misinterpret “weedy” parts of our personalities on a regular basis. Do you have some part of your personality that seems like “taking-up-too-much space” might apply?

Let’s apply an awe exercise to ourselves: Turn on your imagination. Notice some part of you that seems bothersome. Imagine this part of your personality having color, shape, texture. Ask yourself when this part first showed up — perhaps in some momentous time. Consider the part’s tough resilience to flourish in difficult situations. Thank this hard-working part of yourself, likely trying to protect you from some real or perceived danger. Awe often hides in ordinary days.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

510. Is there a part of your personality that you regularly cast aside as “weed?”

511. What might shift in your mind’s eye if you took time to investigate how that part of you filled a purpose, likely years ago?   

Resolutions Check-in

Q: Why did the crane cross the road? A: The grass looked greener on the other side. How often do you think there must be a better there than the details of your current life? What would you do with Elon Musk’s money?

It has been 21 days since New Year’s Day and it is time to check-in on your resolution(s). While some mistakenly say you can set a new habit in 21 days, do not believe them. Most studies have found that it takes at least three times longer. If you struggle to make any headway on your desired resolution(s), perhaps you ditch your to-do list and try time blocking or timeboxing.

Successful CEO’s like Bill gates and Elon Musk use time blocking. Musk might win the prize for the most time-managed individual, as he pre-plans his day with no unscheduled time slots!  And as unbelievable as it may seem, Musk’s time blocks are 5-minute segments. Supposedly, he knows how much time any task takes. To not experience a “planning fallacy,” one must keep a timed record of certain tasks, perhaps using a time-tracking app.   

While time blocking may work for Musk and others, it seems robotic. Where is there room for an unexpected phone call from a family member or friend? Where is there a sense of flow or creativity where time-watching is detrimental?  

An argument supporting this regimented goal-setting is Parkinson’s Law: any work tends to expand to fill up the time allotted for it (C. Northcote Parkinson). When time is restricted, a task takes less of your time. Also, the Pareto Principle applies: the 80/20 Rule suggests that around 20% of your efforts will produce 80% of the results (Vilfredo Pareto).

Another time management technique is timeboxing. Time blocking is about planning when you will work on something, while timeboxing has an emphasis on limiting how long you spend on a given task. You set an upper limit on how much time you will do a certain task (exercise for 30 minutes, for example) without having a set time. Timeboxing encourages one’s progress by setting timely and manageable limits. Anyone can do something for 30 minutes a day…with intention.

Where is any focus for looking at the reasons why a person does not follow through on their intentions? Trust me. This will be a productive use of your time, and the first step may take no longer than 5 minutes. Here is a starter version. There is a part of your personality that sets your resolution. Name that part of your personality. There is another part (or two) that does not follow through. Name the part(s). Are you engaged in a parts war? Notice your breathing. Center into calmness. You can embrace opposite parts when you are CONSCIOUS of these parts in the present moment. Find insider peace.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

257. What is your name for the part of you that sets resolutions?

258. How often do other parts interrupt your good intentions?