Tag: personality parts

Time for a Personality Lift?

“Active Aging Week” (October 5-11 this year) was initiated by the International Council on Active Aging to promote free wellness activities in organizations for those 50+ with a goal of reaching as many older adults as possible. Suggestions include group walks, group exercise classes such as yoga, and health-related classes like prevention of falling. Sponsors for programming include Humana, Abbot, and LeadingAge, a national advocacy group of 5300 nonprofit service providers serving older adults. “Active aging” includes recognizing that many older adults are active contributors to society.

Ageism Awareness Day (October 9) is sponsored by the American Society on Aging to reinforce a realistic view of aging. For many, there is a bias against rising numbers of older adults. Perhaps Americans are in need of a “personality lift.”

Ageism often misrepresents the facts. Ageism has 3 components:

  • Stereotypes (how we think),
  • Prejudice (how we feel), and
  • Discrimination (how we act) toward others or ourselves, often based on one’s numerical age. 

Psychotherapist and spiritual writer Thomas Moore writes in Ageless Soul, “When people think of keeping their youth as they age, they often think too physically, materially, and literally. They get face-lifts but not personality lifts.”

Yes, youth is prized in American culture. And yes, facelifts are a “thing;” according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons; as many as 230,000 full and partial facelifts happen each year in the U.S., as well as increasing numbers of facial fat grafting and neck lifts.

We need to break ageist, sexist, racist, and gender bias stereotypes in America. There is backlash from younger workers about Social Security payments provided for seasoned citizens (my label). It is not well known how much older adults support our economy and are key caregivers. Nearly 69% of U.S. grandparents (estimated at 65 million) provide some kind of childcare or support for their grandchildren. Approximately 2.07 million grandparents are the mainstay for raising their resident grandchildren. Almost a third of older adults identifying as LGBTQIA+ are providing care to a friend.

The number of people older than 75 in the labor force is estimated to be 10.1% in 2026. Recent AARP data indicate that adults 50+ produce $12.5 trillion in economic activity. However, most white-haired adults are not wealthy. In 2022, nearly 1 in 10 individuals ages 65 and older (approximately 5.9 million) lived below the poverty level. Many grandparent caregivers (60%) are in the workforce to make ends meet. It is a sad truth that the poverty rates are higher for African American, Asian and Hispanic older adults than non-Hispanic white older adults.

Let’s ask ourselves to notice when we are in discrimination territory. Stereotypes are so prevalent today in America that I am afraid we mostly do not notice. Your critical personality part often is a misguided protective attempt. Is your critic operating in overdrive? Personalities need tune-ups more frequently than cars.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

540. When do you catch yourself being ageist/sexist/racist/gender-biased?

541. What are your own needs for a personality lift?                      

Personality “Weeds”

My definition of a “weed” is a plant in the wrong place. Ralph Waldo Emerson was more philosophical: “What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.” As I pulled mighty weeds in my side yard with some that had fluff-ball heads getting ready to explode their seed, I wondered where they came from, as no other part of my garden had this pest. Then I peeked through the fence where a host of the rascal plants were blooming undeterred in my neighbor’s yard.

Perhaps the neighbor was a fan of Carey Salerno’s poem, The Weeds (Accidentally on Purpose): “I watched the first weeds burgeon and decided this was the summer /  I wouldn’t stop them, every inch of crabgrass, every foot higher /  the woody stem of nightshade… /   When faced with all that overgrowth, doesn’t some large part of you want to /  watch it manifest more, just a little bit, to see how wild things really /  can get… /  if I can get myself to see it that way, to let myself feel what it’s /  like to let anticipations go, to learn to revel in what might seem more like /  mess but could just be learning….”

Or, perhaps the neighbor had read Jake Eagle’s and Michael Amster’s book, The Power of Awe: Overcome Burnout & Anxiety, Ease Chronic Pain, Find Clarity & Purpose – in Less than 1 Minute Per Day, where almost any topic might become awe-inspiring! Mindfulness author Amster finds the practice of tuning into weed awe instructive for teaching resilience to flourish in difficult conditions:

“Weeds are remarkable teachers. They grow in places where nothing else seems able to survive. They push through cracks in sidewalks, emerge from gravel, and thrive in harsh conditions with little water or care. Their resilience is extraordinary…some had delicate purple blossoms. Others displayed geometric patterns more beautiful than many cultivated plants…the only reason we call them ‘weeds’ is because they are growing where we don’t want them. How often do we do the same with people, things, experiences, or parts of ourselves?”

Yes, we do misinterpret “weedy” parts of our personalities on a regular basis. Do you have some part of your personality that seems like “taking-up-too-much space” might apply?

Let’s apply an awe exercise to ourselves: Turn on your imagination. Notice some part of you that seems bothersome. Imagine this part of your personality having color, shape, texture. Ask yourself when this part first showed up — perhaps in some momentous time. Consider the part’s tough resilience to flourish in difficult situations. Thank this hard-working part of yourself, likely trying to protect you from some real or perceived danger. Awe often hides in ordinary days.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

510. Is there a part of your personality that you regularly cast aside as “weed?”

511. What might shift in your mind’s eye if you took time to investigate how that part of you filled a purpose, likely years ago?   

Resolutions Check-in

Q: Why did the crane cross the road? A: The grass looked greener on the other side. How often do you think there must be a better there than the details of your current life? What would you do with Elon Musk’s money?

It has been 21 days since New Year’s Day and it is time to check-in on your resolution(s). While some mistakenly say you can set a new habit in 21 days, do not believe them. Most studies have found that it takes at least three times longer. If you struggle to make any headway on your desired resolution(s), perhaps you ditch your to-do list and try time blocking or timeboxing.

Successful CEO’s like Bill gates and Elon Musk use time blocking. Musk might win the prize for the most time-managed individual, as he pre-plans his day with no unscheduled time slots!  And as unbelievable as it may seem, Musk’s time blocks are 5-minute segments. Supposedly, he knows how much time any task takes. To not experience a “planning fallacy,” one must keep a timed record of certain tasks, perhaps using a time-tracking app.   

While time blocking may work for Musk and others, it seems robotic. Where is there room for an unexpected phone call from a family member or friend? Where is there a sense of flow or creativity where time-watching is detrimental?  

An argument supporting this regimented goal-setting is Parkinson’s Law: any work tends to expand to fill up the time allotted for it (C. Northcote Parkinson). When time is restricted, a task takes less of your time. Also, the Pareto Principle applies: the 80/20 Rule suggests that around 20% of your efforts will produce 80% of the results (Vilfredo Pareto).

Another time management technique is timeboxing. Time blocking is about planning when you will work on something, while timeboxing has an emphasis on limiting how long you spend on a given task. You set an upper limit on how much time you will do a certain task (exercise for 30 minutes, for example) without having a set time. Timeboxing encourages one’s progress by setting timely and manageable limits. Anyone can do something for 30 minutes a day…with intention.

Where is any focus for looking at the reasons why a person does not follow through on their intentions? Trust me. This will be a productive use of your time, and the first step may take no longer than 5 minutes. Here is a starter version. There is a part of your personality that sets your resolution. Name that part of your personality. There is another part (or two) that does not follow through. Name the part(s). Are you engaged in a parts war? Notice your breathing. Center into calmness. You can embrace opposite parts when you are CONSCIOUS of these parts in the present moment. Find insider peace.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

257. What is your name for the part of you that sets resolutions?

258. How often do other parts interrupt your good intentions?