Personality “Weeds”

My definition of a “weed” is a plant in the wrong place. Ralph Waldo Emerson was more philosophical: “What is a weed? A plant whose virtues have never been discovered.” As I pulled mighty weeds in my side yard with some that had fluff-ball heads getting ready to explode their seed, I wondered where they came from, as no other part of my garden had this pest. Then I peeked through the fence where a host of the rascal plants were blooming undeterred in my neighbor’s yard.

Perhaps the neighbor was a fan of Carey Salerno’s poem, The Weeds (Accidentally on Purpose): “I watched the first weeds burgeon and decided this was the summer /  I wouldn’t stop them, every inch of crabgrass, every foot higher /  the woody stem of nightshade… /   When faced with all that overgrowth, doesn’t some large part of you want to /  watch it manifest more, just a little bit, to see how wild things really /  can get… /  if I can get myself to see it that way, to let myself feel what it’s /  like to let anticipations go, to learn to revel in what might seem more like /  mess but could just be learning….”

Or, perhaps the neighbor had read Jake Eagle’s and Michael Amster’s book, The Power of Awe: Overcome Burnout & Anxiety, Ease Chronic Pain, Find Clarity & Purpose – in Less than 1 Minute Per Day, where almost any topic might become awe-inspiring! Mindfulness author Amster finds the practice of tuning into weed awe instructive for teaching resilience to flourish in difficult conditions:

“Weeds are remarkable teachers. They grow in places where nothing else seems able to survive. They push through cracks in sidewalks, emerge from gravel, and thrive in harsh conditions with little water or care. Their resilience is extraordinary…some had delicate purple blossoms. Others displayed geometric patterns more beautiful than many cultivated plants…the only reason we call them ‘weeds’ is because they are growing where we don’t want them. How often do we do the same with people, things, experiences, or parts of ourselves?”

Yes, we do misinterpret “weedy” parts of our personalities on a regular basis. Do you have some part of your personality that seems like “taking-up-too-much space” might apply?

Let’s apply an awe exercise to ourselves: Turn on your imagination. Notice some part of you that seems bothersome. Imagine this part of your personality having color, shape, texture. Ask yourself when this part first showed up — perhaps in some momentous time. Consider the part’s tough resilience to flourish in difficult situations. Thank this hard-working part of yourself, likely trying to protect you from some real or perceived danger. Awe often hides in ordinary days.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

510. Is there a part of your personality that you regularly cast aside as “weed?”

511. What might shift in your mind’s eye if you took time to investigate how that part of you filled a purpose, likely years ago?   

Pearls of Awe

Moments of awe are artfully described by psychologist David Elkins (who studied under Viktor Frankl): “… the most important, transformative experiences of life…Awe is a lightning bolt that marks in memory those moments when the doors of perception are cleansed, and we see with startling clarity what is truly important in life.”And yet,in our rush to accomplish the next thing on invisible to-do lists, we skip momentary opportunities of basking in awe.    

I am enjoying reading psychotherapist Jake Eagle and physician Michael Amster’s 2023 book, The Power of Awe: Overcome Burnout & Anxiety, Ease Chronic Pain, Find Clarity & Purpose—In Less Than 1 Minute Per Day. I am usually dubious of what might “stick” in less than 1 minute per day, but I believe these two mindfulness-instructor authors have their eyes on a simple prize. Afterall, life is lived in present moments. When you pay attention, in everyday as well as special moments, there is an aliveness that grabs you, perhaps by oozing goose bumps or watery eyes. You tend to remember such moments.

The authors advise: “Finding awe isn’t a goal. Goals are for the future. Awe is here now, a sense of wonder coming from firsts, lasts, and experiences that continue to amaze us…Firsts: First kiss…first time you rode a bike, swam in the ocean…Lasts: The last mountain you’ll climb, your last kiss…last words you’ll hear [from someone]… Experiences that continue to amaze: Sunrise. Shooting stars. Redwood trees…a sense of oneness…the depth of love we can feel.”

To help you tune in more frequently to awe, the 3-part A.W.E. Method is free online as “A.W.E. Guide and Journal” at https://thepowerofawe.com/  — where A.W.E. represents Attention, Wait, Exhale and Expand in five-to-fifteen-second intense moments of focus. The research on the health benefits of this 1-minute “microdosing mindfulness” (in just 3 awe-filled segments each day) is impressive.

The magic happens when you have the intention for ATTENTION, then pause — or in this model termed WAIT – WAIT with intention before elongating an EXHALE-and-EXPAND consciousness. I offer a recent example from my garden. With intention, I was admiring a profusion of phlox plumes when suddenly, a hummingbird darted in front of me and landed on a nearby ‘Blue Fortune’ hyssop plant. With as much stealth as I could muster, I slowly removed my cell phone from my pants pocket and etched my memory with those fluttering feathers. Usually when I attempt this move with birds or butterflies, they flit away. For some reason, this hummer was not threatened by my presence. I shared close-up eye contact with awe.  

Psychologist Dacher Keltner also wrote a book on awe – AWE: The New Science of Everyday Wonder and How It Can Transform Your Life (2023). I’m all in on this topic! Keltner believes that                               awe is “almost always nearby.”

Let’s savor awesome moments!

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

319. When did you recently experience an awe-filled moment?  

320. Would you be willing to share this awesome time in the comment section?