Author David Deida has a new book, The Man of Zero. “Zero” Man is defined by Deida as arriving at “…a point where he’s no longer motivated by the same motivations as in the past…[he]could become depressed. A man can collapse when he’s feeling unmotivated. But if you don’t collapse, if you can stay very present with the moment, with what is, without collapsing—even though you have no sense of purpose or meaning—something else happens. You begin to live and think and move from a deeper place that’s not personal anymore.”
Some can identify with Deida’s philosophy; others might question its veracity for their life. Perhaps everyone can agree to attend to boys’ and men’s wellbeing. June is Men’s Health Awareness Month with the intention to emphasize a critical need for preventive health screenings. This year’s theme reflects how important it is for whole families to invest in men’s wellness — “Partners in Care: For Better Lifespans Across the Lifespan.” Men’s health is a special focus in the week leading up to Father’s Day.
The rates of male depression and suicide have risen sharply according to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. More than 6 million U.S. men experience symptoms of depression every year; a recent survey uncovered that 49% of men feel more depressed than they admit to people in their lives. A further cause for concern, men are less likely to ask for help with mental health challenges.
Risks for male wellbeing include these identified factors:
- Toxic masculinity — the stereotypical gender roles to be strong, silent, and self-sufficient.
- Stress at work – long work hours, high-stress roles, job burnout and depression.
- Financial concerns — often the primary breadwinner, yet men more likely to face unemployment.
- Substance abuse – men more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs, increasing their mental health concerns.
Victor Fontanez is a barber, motivational speaker and entrepreneur, who gave free outdoor haircuts when business collapsed during the pandemic, leading to his social media platform. He became a barber-turned-counselor in Atlanta. Fontanez is a strong role model for youth. He asks 11–12-year-old boys, “What would you change in the world?” They all say gun violence.
Fontanez shares how at age 23 he experienced a mental health crisis prior to his diagnosis of bipolar I disorder: “I thought I could physically push through anything. There was no need for therapy; there was no need to slow down…I pushed my body to the limits—and then I realized, it’s mind, body, and soul. It’s three things that a person needs to take care of.” He radically changed his behavior. Along with psychotherapy and medication assistance, he no longer compromises his sleep, eats a better diet, and exercises. He celebrates his positive changes.
Join “Wear Blue” on Fridays in June to show support for men’s bodymind health.
Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz
506. When are you a role model for wellness?
507. What further steps might promote wellness in others?
Pearls of Peace: A Family Psychologist’s Circle-of-Life Blog 