Jan’s Blog Posts

Giving-Thanks

Let’s put Giving before Thanks in Thanksgiving.

 To set the record straight, Native Wampanoag people gave a successful corn crop to the immigrants who then declared a successful harvest in their first settler year. The two groups had a harvest gathering of the wary; at least 90 Native men and 50 Englishmen attended according to Plimouth Plantation colonial food expert, Kathleen Wall. Where were the women? Reportedly, Native givers dined on the ground according to their custom; the English sat at a table according to their custom. Why didn’t the thankful English join their benefactors by sitting with them?

Wampanoag leader Massasoit negotiated a treaty between his tribe and Plymouth settlers in 1620. They agreed that no individual of their respective groups would harm anyone from the other group. But tragedy was not averted; there was bloodshed. Complicating the fragile relationship between Native land dwellers and their nemesis neighbors, about 25,000 European colonizers crossed borders between 1630-1642. Including violent conflicts with settlers, the Native population lost more than half of their tribes as smallpox, measles, typhus and cholera decimated the indigenous people who had no immunity to newcomer diseases.

The holiday “Thanksgiving” became a U.S. national celebration after writer and magazine editor Sarah Josepha Hale petitioned four prior Presidents before President Lincoln agreed, issuing a gratitude proclamation in 1863. Nearly a hundred years later (in 1970) Native people gathered in Plymouth for a National Day of Mourning, not gratitude. Who tells the true story to school children?

Massachusetts celebrated the 350th Anniversary of the first landing of the Mayflower in 1970. Wampanopag leader Wamsutta Frank James was invited to speak at the banquet. Organizers requested a copy of his prepared remarks and then rescinded the invitation when James refused to read a redacted speech prepared by the PR team. The National Day of Mourning was initiated; 500 indigenous people (from 25 tribes) attended in Plymouth. As a commemoration of the suffering of Native people and a protest against racism, this gathering continues each year on the fourth Thursday of November. Listening to the granddaughter, Kisha James, of Wamsutta Frank James at a recent National Day of Mourning is a sobering experience: https://www.umassp.edu/deia/resources/supporting-indigenous-people/national-day-mourning

November was dubbed Native American Heritage Month by President George H.W. Bush in 1990. It also is called American Indian and Alaska Native Heritage Month. The Department of Defense reports that American Indians and Alaska Natives have one of the highest representations in the U.S. Armed Forces. When does America give thanks to indigenous people?  

Perhaps our country can introduce a nonprofit program meant for school children to all individuals. GiveThx defines the school behaviors expected for belonging and mental health in a given schools’ culture. At Lanai High and Elementary School in Hawaii these TORCH values were locally defined: Tenacious, Observant, Respectful, Compassionate, and Honorable. I am grateful that my children exercise these values.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

345. What are your beliefs about Thanksgiving? 

346. Who might benefit from your gifting on this holiday?    

Compassion: The Peace Within

Inuit, Unknown carver, Art Institute of Chicago

Tania Israel, Professor of Counseling Psychology at University of California (Santa Barbara) is  author of the 2024 book, Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation. Rather than focusing on differences between voters, Israel takes a compassionate (and researched) approach: “We have more in common than we realize.”

  • There is a tendency to overestimate the distance between our viewpoints; two-thirds of Americans do not belong to either extreme of the political continuum. While voters may disagree on whether there is environmental climate change, many who voted for different candidates are exhausted by the divisiveness of today’s political climate.
  • Most Americans share core values, such as service, patriotism, and bipartisanship.
  • There are over 500 organizations that are working in earnest in the bridging movement to bring people together in the Listen First Project, a global nonpartisan nonprofit that was founded in 2013. The goal is to strengthen social cohesion and democratic principles.
  • Listen First conversations happen by following these 3 tips: 1) Listen with curiosity. 2) Speak from your own experience. 3) Connect with respect.
  • Our actions can change our beliefs. Look for unifying causes. Check out these brief You Tube clips: https://www.youtube.com/@ListenfirstprojectOrg/videos
  • Despite social media outlets that foster conflict, 53% of Americans across political lines report changing their social media diet in favor of more constructive choices.

Researchers are working on ways to reduce division. In a large study of online interventions, 23 of 25 reduced partisan animosity. Reducing support for undemocratic practices and partisan violence were intervention goals. Correcting misperceptions about “the other side” was one useful approach. Most individuals were found to value resilient and safe communities where healthy families can thrive.

Social psychologist Peter T. Coleman, Professor of Psychology and Education, Teachers College at Columbia University, initiated the Polarization Detox Challenge – a 20-day skill-building online experience designed to shape new habits for political tolerance and compassion. His ongoing research is one that you can join: https://startswith.us/pdc/exercises/

The Polarization Detox Challenge takes as little as 5 minutes a day. This is not an assignment! No one grades you. Dropping out is an option. Day One of The Detox Challenge is finding out (via a quick survey with results immediately) how much you believe in change. No surprise, I believe in people’s capacity for change!

“Research on more intractable conflicts has found that… when people believe that groups and situations are mutable and sometimes can change, they are much more likely to work to do so. Making this simple shift in mindset helps make it conceivable to see and realize possible solutions to problems where others see inevitable dead ends. The consequences of this simple difference have been shown by decades of research to be profound.”

Hanging on to a fixed mindset halts evolving problem-solving. Let’s correct any misperceptions with facts while embracing values that we hold in common. 

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

343. What are your thoughts about people who voted opposite from you?

344. How might you dialogue together?      

ANGER: The Trauma Within

Le Penseur (The Poet), Auguste Rodin, 1904, Musee Rodin, Paris

Do you have anger about the Presidential election results? Perhaps your anger has other targets, but anger is rampant these days. Drivers on the expressway seem impatient and angry, cutting off their partner drivers as if broadcasting, “Watch out! Get out of my way! I’m changing lanes — whether it’s good for you or not.” This Presidential election reminds me of such drivers; voters chose a candidate with a me-first mentality, only they cannot see that they may be next to be cut off in some future way.

It’s hard to remember that anger is only a part of your personality when it feels like a dangerous drone inside your bodymind is prepped for a destructive lift-off. Whoever is in the path of anger demolition, innocent or not, watch out!

Anger is not about “the enemy within,” but the trauma within. Anger is a protective emotion. It protects our own trauma within — our fears, our grieving, our insecurities, our prejudices and other vulnerabilities we disown in our personalities. All of us have fears, grieving, insecurities, prejudices and other vulnerabilities. “Who me?” you ask. Yes, all of us.

It takes introspective reckoning to admit to all parts of one’s personality.

French Auguste Rodin created The Poet sculpture (also known as The Thinker) as one part of a large commission – Gates of Hell –– for a doorway surround in 1880. His inspiration was Dante’s 14,233-line Divine Comedy. How can it be that Dante’s opening lines in 1300 seem relevant to 2024? Well, he wrote at a time of intense political disagreement in Florence, Italy:

“Midway upon the journey of our life I found myself within a forest dark, / For the straightforward pathway had been lost. /  Ah me! how hard a thing it is to say /  What was this forest savage, rough, and stern,  /  Which in the very thought renews the fear….”

Despite its name invoking entertainment, Divine Comedy (La Commedia) is a fire-and-brimstone allegory. It depicts three layers of an afterlife – Inferno (Hell), Purgatoria, and Paradiso – for the human traveler whose life journey is one of passionate anger, resentment, love, justice and faith. There is a moral in this Early Renaissance epic poem: redemption is possible if one repents sins. Dante distinguished between a weakness-of-will sin and sins characterized by deliberate will.

If visuals interest you more than a 6-hour read, see National Gallery of Art depictions: https://www.nga.gov/stories/dante-divine-comedy-in-art.html   

Whether or not your anger feels passionate on this Veterans’ Day of painful remembrances, anger always requires our attention. I cut off weedy stalks in my garden as one way of dissipating my anger last week. Then I listened to beautiful music. Like other emotional parts of our personalities, a current anger brings up previous times we felt angry. I greeted numerous memories of anger last week. I own them and I can heal them.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

341. What role does anger play in your everyday life?

342. How do you greet and heal your anger in a safe manner?           

A Bully-pulpit vs. Bullying

President Theodore Roosevelt coined the term bully-pulpit. His puzzling meaning included the fact that he knew he had a powerful leadership pulpit for advocating his agenda to a wide audience. Roosevelt wielded enthusiasm and selling power as he accomplished justice. Understanding both business and labor viewpoints, he intervened in the Pennsylvania coal strike of 1902. Promoting conservation, he expanded national parks/national forests and used executive orders to protect natural resources. His Emergency Banking Act held economic pieces together to prevent a run on banks. He held the line on monopolies. He helped establish the Food and Drug Administration to regulate food safety. His pulpit extended across the globe to make a more stable world. He fostered the building of the Panama Canal. He won the Nobel Peace Prize for his mediation skills in ending the Russo-Japanese War.

Today we have two candidates running for the U.S. Presidency who wield their bully-pulpit promises in opposite directions. Supporters sometimes are actual bullies. Name-calling in this election cycle will go down in U.S. history as winning a Most Vile Prize. A 47-year-old man said the following about his T-shirt: “I understand it’s derogatory…we can joke. We can wear crude shirts. Everybody here is having a good time.” A female vendor who sells vile T-shirts also equivocated: “I think it’s tacky but that’s what my customers want to buy, so that’s what I have.” Free speech was not intended to create laughter for some at the expense of trauma for others. How can bullying elevate a justice pulpit?

It is time for a justice reset.

A day away from Election Day, pollsters continuously arrange states’ puzzle pieces in favor of one candidate over the other. News outlets continuously question whether this group or that group will even show up to cast their sacred vote in the world’s most watched democracy.

It is time for a participance reset.

According to WBEZ’s Dan Tucker, Executive Producer of Reset, Australia handles their national elections in a far different manner from the U.S. method. Voting is mandatory in Australia. Their results seem to lead to more moderate political discussions, less voter disenfranchisement and overall, more voter trust. One only wins if one earns majority support. Wait, isn’t that what winning means? Isn’t that justice? A child understood the importance of justice in characterizing the interlocking pieces of the U.S. government.

With Australia’s voting system, no gerrymandering or voter suppression occur. To read more about the collaborative effort among WBEZ, the Chicago Sun-Times, and the University of Chicago’s Center for Effective Government, check out Democracy Solutions Project  (https://chicago.suntimes.com/democracy).

Another American Theodore, poet Theodore Roethke, penned these words: “In a dark time, the eye begins to see….” Let’s open our eyes to justice and seek higher ground in future elections. Let’s agree on one thing: “…pledge our allegiance…with liberty and justice for all.”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

339. Where do you see justice at the forefront in the U.S. today?

340. What ideas encourage a participatory democracy?        

Micro-aggression Stitches

Family Life, Susan Else, 2010, San Jose Museum of Quilts & Textiles

It is difficult to listen to the evening news in this pre-election season when one is bombarded with microaggressions, or outright aggressive threats, aimed at certain populations. Sexism that affects half of humanity, racism, ableism, ageism, and LGBTQ+ stereotyping cause everyday harm for many individuals. Targeted victims often incur deep wounds. It is easy to blame a few people when the real issues are buried within cultural caskets of prejudice layered with new soiling every century.

Psychology researcher Derald Wing Sue grew up in Portland, Oregon. He was not accepted in childhood as a Chinese American and often received cutting rude and crude discrimination. His later education led him to study institutional racism by way of Martin Luther King, Jr’s leadership. As coping siblings, two of Dr. Sue’s brothers also found their way to the field of psychology. Derald Wing Sue and his brother Stanley co-founded the Asian American Psychological Association.

With his brother David, Sue co-authored Counseling the Culturally Diverse: Theory and Practice. The adaptive approach to microaggression is what Sue terms “microintervention” — making the invisible visible, educating the perpetrator, disarming the microaggression, and seeking outside support. These goals need to be sewn into country-wide New Year’s Resolutions.

According to a 2023 survey by the Boys & Girls Club, 40% of school students (ages 9-18 across the U.S.) reported being bullied on school property; this represents a higher number than previous years. Of those bullied students, 55% said that they never told an adult about what happened. Cyberbullying is even more prominent with 82% of adolescents reporting offenses. These aggressive attacks can result in a student’s poor school attendance and performance, as well as an increased substance abuse risk and/or other mental health issues –  including suicide.

Violinist Tyler Clementi committed suicide in 2010 after cyberbullying. His Rutgers University roommate live-streamed Tyler and another male student in a sexual encounter shortly after Tyler’s freshman year began. No one deserves such treatment.

Bullying includes:

  • An aggressor with a sense of power (either real or perceived) and a targeted individual (who may be a victim in circumstances where no one even views the bullying behavior).

Bullying often includes:

  • Bystanders who either witness or hear about abusive behaviors but do not intervene or Upstanders who intervene (through interruption and reporting bullying) as well as offer support to targeted individuals.

Today we often hear the admonishment to “tone down the rhetoric.” This is like putting a butterfly band-aid on a large gaping wound. We need psychological stitches for those wounded by bullying.

Schools at every level must approach micro-and-macro aggression with ongoing system-wide approaches. Some teachers bully other teachers; they also require bullying prevention training. An anti-bullying program is available for free downloading through the Tyler Clementi Foundation’s #Day1 Campaign (to be administered on the first day of school or any time during the school year). https://tylerclementi.org/about/

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

337. What microaggressions do you encounter as an adult?

338. When have you acted as an Upstander?             

Change: A Pearl-in-the-Making

Autumn is a good time to consider something that needs changing in your life. As more leaves change colors and eventually give way to their new legacy of providing mulch, envision a change or two for yourself. As R. Buckminster Fuller said, “You never change things by fighting the existing reality. To change something, build a new model that makes the existing model obsolete.”

Architect Buckminster Fuller was an intuitive systems thinker and futurist. His penchant for creating not just the amazing geodesic dome structure, but also new words, gives us a blueprint for our personal changes. Fuller both coined and initiated the field of Synergistics. His interdisciplinary approach encourages lateral thinking and incorporating nature: “I am confident that humanity’s survival depends on all of our willingness to comprehend feelingly the way nature works.” It is the feelingly comprehension of ALL of us that sent my mind on a search for a further explanation of Fuller’s ideas.

Professor of Leadership at Harvard Business School, Amy C. Edmondson worked as Chief Engineer for Fuller during the last three years of his 87-year life. Edmondson wrote Fuller a letter as an undergraduate student, asking him what people might do to make our planet work for everyone. What a wonderful question for each of us!

Edmonson’s easier-to-comprehend description of Synergistics is ALL about changing our mindset, something that I fully endorse as a psychologist (Fuller Explanation: The Synergistic Geometry of R. Buckminister Fuller). Ready for some mindset change? I have found a few beginner pearls in Synergistics (and life):

  • Let curiosity guide you. Say “image-ination” like Fuller (instead of imagination), because we are the architects of our images.
  • Self-directed examination of patterns and structure in nature will educate you.
  • Stop lying to children by saying, “Watch the sun going down.” This made me wonder why I say, “sunset.”
  • Fuller reminded audiences that we are accustomed to believing that reality is comprised of what one sees, smells, touches and hears, while we actually “live in a world of invisibles.”
  • “…there are no solids; matter consists exclusively of energy.” This is deep.

Most of us will not be known for BIG-C creativity as in Fuller’s producing 28 U.S. patents that gathered recognition in multiple honorary doctorates, but we exhibit little-c creativity whenever we change our mindsets.

Take a peak at Fuller’s childhood. Born to successful leather and tea merchant parents and grand-nephew of Margaret Fuller, the ardent women’s rights advocate, Fuller attended a Froebelian Kindergarten where he was influenced by the same geometric building blocks as Frank Lloyd Wright. This suggests to me that we need to wean school-age children off their gadget dependence to encourage more self-directed mindsets as in creative play, especially in nature.

As British primatologist and anthropologist Jane Goodall reminds us, “Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference.”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

335. What difference are you making?

336. What is your current change or pearl-in-the-making?            

Indigenous Peoples’ Day and/or Columbus Day

What did the traffic light say to the car? “Don’t look now. I’m changing!”

Change is cumbersome even if you have a traffic-light mentality of its-green-for-MY-car.

According to https://renamecolumbusday.org/ over 200 cities and 29 states have renamed Columbus Day as Indigenous Peoples’ Day. Some states acknowledge Indigenous Peoples’ Day in terms of a proclamation; others celebrate it as federal holiday. Name changes include “Native American Day” in South Dakota, “Columbus Day + American Heritage Day” in Alabama, and “Discovery Day” in Hawaii.

Regarding Christoper Columbus, he reportedly never reached the North America continent; on October 12, 1492, Columbus reached an island that today is part of the British Bahamas. Believing his discovery was a grand route to India, he called the people he met “Indians.” Columbus was not the first European “discovery” explorer to cross the Atlantic successfully, as Vikings reportedly kept a short-lived second home in Newfoundland in the 11th century…so our grade school stories about Columbus were fake news? A factual Founding Father, Thomas Paine, wisely captured such disparities as the Columbus distortion in his 1776 Common Sense pamphlet: “A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it a superficial appearance of being right.”  

While some have this opinion, “You’re trying to change history – you’re confusing our grandchildren,” others want to rename the second Monday in October “Italian Heritage Day.” Still others would like to take a vote on whether to rename Columbus Day. With a current divided country, it could end up being a 50/50 election.

Ever curious about people’s values and how they think about a topic, I did an informal survey over the weekend. I asked individuals to vote for their naming preference. More people favored Indigenous People’s Day, although combo-naming was one person’s opinion in being inclusive and honoring Italian heritage. A tongue-in-cheek response likely speaks for many: “I call it a day off work.”

Indigenous People’s Day has enjoyed federal recognition since 2021, with the Biden administration proclaiming the second Monday in October “a day in honor of our diverse history and the Indigenous peoples who contribute to shaping this Nation.” Wording in the 2024 Indigenous Peoples’ Day presidential proclamation is critical language for today: “…we recognize that it is hard work to heal the wrongs of the past and to change course and move forward, but together, nothing is beyond our capacity.” 

Discrimination continues to hamper needed changes. Why do we recall the names of the three ships of the Columbus expedition decades later? Schools may teach the ship names (the Niña, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria, in case you forgot), but we do not represent Native American names in our current entertainment industry. Less than 1% of Native Americans work in this field.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

333. What is your vote for naming the second Monday in October?

334. Beyond saying the names of the early people who settled our city lands at community gatherings, how might we correct cultural narratives about Indigenous people?             

Ageism Discrimination

Ageism Awareness Day is on October 9th, but let’s make every day an ageism awareness day as the Baby-Boom generation mushrooms into seasoned citizen territory.

 The World Health Organization posts these alarming findings:  Ageism costs billions annually in the U.S. from age discrimination — the economic cost of age discrimination against older workers was estimated to cost $850 billion in lost GDP in 2018 (from factors such as the inability to find work and earn promotions).                                                                                                               1 in 2 people worldwide are ageist against older people.

It is also possible to be ageist against young people, as in saying, “She’s too green for the job,” likely a sexist attitude and ageist. These discriminatory attitudes often travel together, along with a particularly damaging attitude — racism. “Ageism intersects and exacerbates all the other ‘isms,’ including racism, sexism and ableism,” according to the Ageism Fact Sheet compiled by the American Society on Aging (https://asaging.org/sites/default/files/2024-08/Ageism%20Fact%20Sheet%20-%20Ageism%20Awareness%20Day_0.pdf ).

Here is how journalist Connie Chung, first woman to co-anchor the CBS Evening News, describes the career hoops she jumped through at age 23 in Connie: A Memoir: “…Since I stood only five feet, three and a half inches (don’t forget the half), I compensated by wearing stilettos. I wanted to be as close as I could be, eye to eye with the men. I did not want to look up at them. I wanted to be their equal. I tried to lower my voice to mimic theirs and copied their on-air cadence. I knew they could easily bully me, and I was powerless to fight them, so I joined them. I knew I could never be one of the boys, but surely, I could adopt pages from their playbook. It was easy to imagine myself as just another white guy. I became aggressive, tough, bawdy, and extremely competitive. Yes, I looked like a lotus blossom, but I talked like a sailor with a raw sense of humor.”

There is more ageism discrimination for older adults. 64% of older workers maintain that they face age discrimination; 41% report ageism experiences in their workplace. Often companies have expected ages for “retirement.” For some individuals, leaving a demanding career may be a welcome life development; for others, a mandatory age for retirement seems dismissive of one’s talents.  

• Age diversity is not foremost in planning a company’s workforce, although organizations might gain a competitive advantage from multigenerational employees. Acknowledging age equity increases worker feelings of belonging, along with enhancing productivity.                                                                                                                                                         

 • Healthcare is ageist: In ages 50+, 1 in 5 experiences discrimination in healthcare settings.

Now for the good news, if you are lucky enough to live into your 70’s and beyond: people who possess more positive self-perceptions of aging live 7.5 years longer than those with less positive perceptions, according to Yale University researcher Becca Levy.

Find resources to advocate against ageism (https://asaging.org/ageism-awareness).

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

331. How often do you catch yourself being ageist?

332. What might you say to another when you hear an ageist remark?                                       

Are YOU Meeting 5 Basic Needs?

Autumn Crocus

When asked to give a keynote talk at a fundraiser for a suicide-prevention-curriculum organization, I flashed on a psychology graduate school professor who taught that the most important ingredient a therapist must deliver in any psychotherapy session is to “leave the client with hope.” This simple phrase applies to almost every encounter we have with others.

September is National Self-Care Awareness Month and Suicide Prevention Month (see blog, Prevention is an Intervention). Our best action regarding suicide is to prevent it. Here’s my talk highlights:

What is the opposite of committing suicide? I would say, flourishing! How might you flourish? Fair pay, equal pay for equal work, and other economic factors are important, but today we focus on what you can do to flourish in a bodymind sense.  First, you flourish by meeting your own basic needs. Then you can lend a helping hand to a neighbor, family member, friend, or student who is struggling to meet their basic needs.

Instead of admonishing others with the 19th century foot metaphor, “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” — which Wikipedia says originated from a tall tale where a man told of pulling himself out of a swamp by his own pigtail — we will use a hand as a memory tool…See how moveable and “energetic” your thumb can be!  Let your thumb stand for ENERGY, instead of ennui lethargy…a flexible thumb provides endless possibilities for action. Begin with feeding yourself a nutritious diet, getting 7 hours of sleep, and exercising in a way that suits your body. 

Your pointer finger stands for DISCIPLINE, rather than disorder. Some adults and even teachers (I’ve seen it) point this finger in an emotional, menacing way to deliver “discipline.” Bill Clinton pointed his index finger at the American people, saying, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky!” Today, Mark Robinson, running for governor in NC, is pointing at voters. Both forgot that their own 3 fingers point back at them!  There is cognitive pointing, as in pointing to the pretty butterfly. We celebrate when a baby learns to point at objects. Try pointing your index finger upward, as a reminder to yourself, that you are interested in raising “up” children (or students or colleagues) using morals and values as your guide. Discipline is a basic need. Having the discipline to eat healthy choices, get enough sleep, exercise, and keep learning with a growth mindset – ALL require some structure. The word discipline has the same root meaning as the word disciple. It means to follow a good lead.

The middle and longest finger has a long history of meaning scorn or insult when held upright. Over 2500 years ago the Greek playwright, Aristophanes, is credited with showing insult by raising the middle finger. He made a crude joke about a certain male body part. It is time for this finger to receive a creative comeback!  CREATIVITY, instead of conformity, is a go-to basic need if you want to flourish.  Creativity involves curiosity, problem-solving, and dreaming new ideas. Albert Einstein once said, “Creativity is intelligence having fun.” Creativity involves personal autonomy, wanting to do something because it’s interesting, enjoyable, or personally challenging. And creativity is not just Big-C creativity, as in becoming a famous artist. Creativity has many little-c possibilities that engage your originality, flexibility, or personal voice.

The ring finger is known for its special BELONGING to close relationships, as in couples sharing wedding rings to symbolize their belonging, rather than the Blues. For those in the mental health field, we are talking about attachment. All these needs are important, but belonging connections are vital. Researchers have found that after food and shelter, positive social connection is our greatest need benefiting bodymind health. People who feel more connected to others have lower rates of anxiety and depression, a 50% increased chance of longevity, a stronger immune system, and faster recovery from disease.

The left “pinky” finger is the one that hits the letter “A” on the keyboard! Recognize your ABILITY, not your apathy. Have competence to believe in your skills to achieve goals and experience a sense of mastery. In the past it was considered that IQ was fixed. This is not true. IQ tests measure what can be done now, not what can be done in the future. The brain can store nearly 10 times more data than previously thought, research confirms. Keep storing new learning!

Our needs are interactive. They can work together, or not. I lined up the backward ABCDE’s — Energy/Discipline/Creativity/Belonging/Ability — handprint to help individuals remember 5 needs. Some days are a challenge to meet even 3 needs. If you live with others, it gets more complicated, because others inevitably want to meet a need — involving YOU — at a different time than you anticipated.

What’s more, we have an integrative core SELF–– this is not “ego.” Some might prefer the word spirit, or soul to SELF. It is a calm acceptance, a grounding, a deep reservoir of integrity, wholeness; it is owning OK-ness. Let’s consider a core SELF in the palm of your hand. When we hold hands with another, we can remind ourselves that our core SELF touches another’s core SELF. This is co-regulation or lending a helping hand. And meeting needs, both ours and helping others meet their needs, is flourishing.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

239. How is your self-care flourishing today?

230. What might you do to help another person flourish?        

Big-picture Peace

Under the Wave off Kanagawa, Katsushika Hokusai (1769-1849)

The United Nations International Day of Peace, annually set for September 21st, has a request: a 24-hour ceasefire of all hostilities on the planet. This year’s theme, “Cultivating a Culture of Peace,” calls for teaching the values of dialogue (see blog, “Mend Differences through Dialogue,” 8-19-24) and mutual respect to the 1.2 billion youth worldwide. Have we given up on adults knowing how to use dialogue and mutual respect in resolving conflicts?

It seems that adult problem-solving efforts to create peace on earth are like the tiny boats facing the looming giant wave in Katsushika Hokusai’s color woodblock print, Under the Wave off  Kanagawa. I must admit that the first time I saw this captivating image in Chicago’s Art Institute years ago, I was so focused on the wave action that initially I did not see the boats! Due to being on paper, the print is only on view for 3-4 months every 5 years. This original gem has re-surfaced from protective storage and again is on display (September 5, 2024–January 6, 2025) in the Art Institute’s Ando Gallery, my favorite room in the entire museum. This time, I knew to look for the boats. What if we are looking for world peace in all the wrong places?

Most museum visitors never see the Tadao Ando Gallery, or Gallery 109, as it sits in an innermost corner of the Art Institute’s Japanese collections. It is a compact space compared to many roomy galleries in other sections of the museum. Also, it is one of the few darkened spaces.

Ando was a self-taught architect. His haunting 16 free-standing wood columns in the womb-like environment compel one to slow down, take deeper breaths, and realize that this is a bodymind immersion into a different sense of time and space. Walking through the “forest” of oak pillars creates an atmosphere of peaceful reverence; the message is to refocus your gaze and get ready to look for what is beyond this “forest” grove.

We have English writer John Heywood to thank for his catchy proverb from 1546: “Can’t see the forest for the trees.” It seems to apply to many situations today, but especially to country leaders who lack the capacity to grasp the disastrous consequences of continuing wars. While dwelling solely on certain details, the big picture is often far from sightlines. Combating inequality, advocating for human rights, and championing climate actions for our planet are factors that lie beyond the immediate details of our international conflicts.

Re-look at Hokusai’s masterpiece. Mount Fuji holds still beyond the crashing wave. Again, we almost miss seeing beyond first details. This mountain is considered a spiritual place. How might we look for big-picture peace and create an interfaith spiritual culture for world dialogues? Isn’t peace first within a baby’s heart?

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz 

327. When have you caught yourself missing some big-picture viewpoint?

328. How often do you refocus your gaze in looking for solutions to your personal sense of peace?