Category: Trauma, Self-awareness, Inner peace

According to professor of psychiatry Bessel van der Kolk, “At the core of (trauma) recovery is self-awareness. The most important phrases in trauma therapy are ‘Notice that’ and ‘What happens next?’” Big-T trauma is serious injury, violence or death. Little-t traumas are more in the eye of the beholder, including non-life-threatening injury, emotional abuse, bullying/harassment, and significant losses (perhaps of a relationship or a beloved pet). Trauma involves the story you hold onto about what has happened. Finding inner peace is about acceptance of your emotions—all of your emotions—and living in the present moment.

Inter-being Connections

Ugo Rondinone, Soul, Galerie Eva Presenhuber, Zurich, 2013

I read the book that my graduate school, Boston University, asked students to read as they began this new academic year. The choice was British novelist Samantha Harvey’s Orbital (2024 Booker Prize winner), about 6 astronauts on the International Space Station (actually 4 astronauts — American, Japanese, British, Italian — and 2 Russian cosmonauts). The novel was a fascinating blend of out-of-this-world details of living/working without benefit of gravity and the daydream/nightdream lives of the intrepid souls onboard.

Purposedly, I had not read the reviews before my own reading. I find that a reviewer’s comments often tell more about the reviewer than about a book. In any case, reviews were mixed. On the plus side, reviewers found Harvey’s writing “beautiful…contemplative.” She describes Earth as having fragility. Through the eyes of astronauts there were worries about personal fragility, like fending off nausea, while zooming around Earth 16 times a day in mind-dizzying circles.

Negative reviewers commented on “minimal plot,” a “lack of traditional character development” and finding “philosophical musings…lacking in substance.”

What caught my attention was how similar the international astronauts were in terms of their emotions. This should not be a surprise. The author places readers into a spacey, weightless interconnection with Planet Earth alongside the sacred space of weighty troubles of everyday people – a mother’s death, another’s unhappy marriage, and a third astronauts’ sick relative.

I agree with the reviewer who noted that the reader feels as if they “were up there with them” for the one day, a Tuesday, that the story unfurls in captivating description: “Over its right shoulder the planet whispers morning – a slender molten breach of light…they have each at some point been shot into the sky on a kerosene bomb, and then through the atmosphere in a burning capsule with the equivalent weight of two black bears upon them.”

I appreciated a review from James Wood (in New York Times) commenting on earlier literary figures who longed to know what it would be like to travel in an airplane, but they were never afforded the opportunity: “…the poets and novelists who moved naturally from the mundane to the massive, who saw God and knew death and narrated time, who sensed that, beyond this ‘mundane egg’ (Blake) ‘This World is not Conclusion’ (Dickinson).”

Harvey’s haunting narrative can border on the poetic: “Some alien civilization might look on and ask: what are they doing here? Why do they go nowhere but round and round?”

Swiss sculpturer Ugo Rondinone also offers stark commentary on human nature in his Soul figures. While his primitive blocks of bluestone are not chiseled into perfection, as quarry trauma in the form of drill-holes and splits are visible, his overall repetition of forms makes a statement. Each individual sculpture is titled an emotional state – “The “Affectionate,” “The Surprised,” The Frisky,” “The Concerned.” We can identify. It’s called inter-being.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

440. What are your views of space travel?

441. How do you interpret your own round-and-round days?

Democracy Pearls

Sitka spruce tree, 1000 years old (191 ft. tall, 55 ft in circumference), Quinault Rain Forest, WA

Just as the “world’s largest spruce tree” appears to have a tilted top, democracy seems tilted these days. Let’s imagine that like the massive and strong roots of this magnificent Sitka spruce tree, the massive and strong roots of democracy can hold steady.

Stanford University is sponsoring a webinar series called “Reimaging Democracy.” When I first received the email invite, my unspoken question was to ponder why we have to “reimagine” something that we were taught – from childhood onward – was an American birthright.

Professors of Law at Standford, Jud Campbell and Fred Smith, opined about whether our country is experiencing a “constitutional crisis.” This is unsettling territory. Neither of the professors believe that we have “crossed the Rubicon,” but each used phrases like these: “…a moment of transformation…a moment of uncertainty…there are increasing signs that we are at greater risk…people use politics to solve problems.” Interviewer Bernadette Meyler asked a burning question of each speaker: “What keeps you up at night?” Smith answered with his own question: “Are we going to have fair and free elections?” Campbell added, “I share that fear as well. To say something different, we have come out of differences before, but the information system today of divided opinion may not come together.”

In an earlier webinar of this series, American political scientist Francis Fukuyama was featured. His book, The End of History and the Last Man combined philosophical notions from earlier centuries. A strong influence upon Fukuyama was Plato (428-347 B.C.) who is attributed with this idea of democracy: “…dealing with all alike on a footing of equality, whether they be really equal or not.” Add another 1000+ years, and a German philosopher, George Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel (1770-1831), was another influence with his vision that each period of history is an improvement on prior eras. Does such “old guard” thinking prevail today? Equality is challenged on many fronts. Can current history be considered an “improvement” from prior times?

Is democracy up for grabs? If so, whose hands are going to catch a democracy that seems off-kilter, as if it were tossed into thin air?

I watched a kite flyer trying to maneuver strong headwinds and determined rain along the Pacific Ocean this weekend. The kite dipped and swerved with jagged and jerky motions as if it might plunge from the sky at any moment. However, despite kite trauma, I did not see the kite fall. I do not see democracy falling either. There are checks and balances in a democracy. It is up to each citizen to call for checks and balances in times of questionable circumstances.

Lyrics from Canadian singer-songwriter Leonard Cohen’s “Democracy” seem pertinent:

“Sail on, sail on

O mighty Ship of State!

To the Shores of Need

Past the Reefs of Greed

Through the Squalls of Hate

Sail on, sail on, sail on, sail on.“

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

438. How do you define equality?

439. What does democracy mean to you?

Saying YES to Hope

Cutthroat Lake (Named after the local cutthroat trout), North Cascades, WA

English primatologist and anthropologistJane Goodall is an inspirational leader. Her messages for planetary health were still percolating as she entered her 90’s. In celebrating her birthday in 2024, Goodall said in an interview on TODAY,” Slow down, Jane, you’re 90.” Then she concluded, “I have to speed up because I don’t know how many years left I have.”

Goodall gave her final public interview just 8 days before she died on a U.S. speaking tour 10-01-25 at age 91. Longtime assistant Mary Lewis reported working with Goodall on a document at 10:30 PM just hours before Goodall died while sleeping.

UN Messenger of Peace Goodall found that the question most asked of her was this one: Do you honestly believe there is hope for our world…for the future of our children and grandchildren? Her answer was a stalwart YES — with a call to action: “I believe we still have a window of time during which we can start healing the harm we have inflicted on the planet – but that window is closing. If we care about the future of our children and theirs, if we care about the health of the natural world, we must get together and take action…Many people understand the dire state of the planet – but do nothing about it because they feel helpless and hopeless.”

Goodall sustained a keen sense of hope that can serve as a legacy. She exudes hope in The Book of Hope: A Survival Guide for Trying Times co-authored by Douglas Abrams, with Gail Hudson. Abrams proposed this dialogue-with-Jane book after his Book of Joy with The Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu.

Goodall lists 4 reasons for hope despite “a time of fear:”

The amazing Human intellect; 2. The resilience of Nature; 3. The power if young people; and 4. The indomitable Human Spirit.

Roots & Shoots programming initiated by Goodall in 1991 is a prime example of youthful power. While the fledgling environmental project began with 12 high schoolers in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, today Roots & Shoots hands-on programming exists in 100 countries. The purpose is to train youth to create positive changes for animals, the environment, and their local communities. It is the embodiment of hope.

Saying YES to hope is key to many present-day predicaments. Saying YES means taking power. In the children’s book, A Million YES’s, author D.J Corchin (with illustrator Dan Dougherty) describes the contagion of positive actions: “Word got around quickly. The girl suddenly made more and more friends who all lined up for her incredible YES’s.”

Jane Goodall was a practical and philosophical role model: “You won’t be active unless you hope that your action is going to do some good. So you need hope to get you going, but then by taking action, you generate more hope. It’s a circular thing.”

Say YES to active hope.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

436. What gives you hope?

437. How might you say YES more often to make positive environmental changes?

Age-inclusion Please

Ageism Awareness Day is October 9. The American Society on Aging (ASA) Ageism & Culture Advisory Council has a Fact Sheet for those who want more details on ageism: https://asaging.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/09/Ageism-Awareness-Day-Fact-Sheet-2025.pdf

Ageism is common and yet overlooked as one of the most socially accepted forms of prejudice. A poll reported that 82% of adults in ages 50-80 experience ageism words or actions daily. And to make matters worse, we often are ageist about ourselves! Other highlights from the ASA report include these issues:

Ageism covers people of many ages, both as recipients of prejudice and offenders of prejudice.
By age 3 children pick up age stereotypes.
Ageism refers to stereotypes (how we think), prejudice (how we feel) and discrimination (how we act) toward others — or ourselves — based on age.
Cultural ageism slips into our movies, literature, songs, news reporting, and especially our jokes.
One research study found that a mere 1.5% of the characters on TV in the U.S. are older adults. If present, they tend to have minor roles and/or are portrayed in stereotypic ageist behavior.
Ageism is even more prevalent when it intersects with racism, sexism and ableism.
Those who experience multiple forms of ageism are reported to have more chronic health conditions and depression.
Ageism has economic implications; AARP estimates that $850 billion in lost gains to the CDP results from involuntary retirement, underemployment, and unemployment in older adults.
Older adults support the U.S. economy; ages 50+ support over 88 million jobs (through jobs they hold or create).
More than half of small business owners are 50+ years old.
Work contributions of older adults are overlooked: caregivers ages 65+ are often unpaid caregivers for their family, friends or neighbors.
In 2022 data, 1.1 million grandparents ages 60+ were providing most of the basic care of grandchildren living with them.
Older adults have longer periods of unemployment, face discrimination during the hiring process, and receive fewer professional development possibilities.
64% of older workers report age discrimination in their place of work.
In one study 1 out of 5 adults over 50 experienced discriminations in their healthcare settings.
There are few geriatricians treating the older adult population; the average salary for a geriatrician is half of the salary for an anesthesiologist, cardiologist, or radiologist.
Medication-related problems are estimated to be one of the top 5 causes of death in older adults.

I have experienced ageism and while I know about the unconscious bias that exists in the U.S., it is still unsettling as I feel useful, not over-the-hill. I like author and poet Gertrude Stein’s approach: “We are always the same age inside.” Her statement can be taken in many ways, but there is a timeless quality to believing in a core self with an ability to have consciousness to each present moment. There are positive possibilities when we embrace age-inclusion.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

434. Have you experienced ageism lately?

435. What do you say when you hear ageism bias tossed into conversations?

Nonverbal Cues as Personality Parts

Pablo Picasso. *Bust of a Woman in a Flowery Hat (Dora Maar),* 1943. Courtesy Lucien Paris. This painting existed in a private collection for 8 decades but entered public space this month and will be sold at auction October 24, 2025.

Picasso’s paintings of faces can intrigue or annoy. One does not move away quickly. There is a depth that holds one’s focus, allowing one’s mind to travel sideways. My mind travels to Internal Family Systems “parts” model (originated by marriage and family therapist Richard Schwartz). This evidence-based psychotherapy is one I studied and find practical in explaining human behavior.

When I look at Picasso’s portrayal of lover and muse Dora Maar, I see multiple parts of personality depicted. Picasso is a master painter of Rorschach-like faces. There is color shock, but more importantly, there is shock from differing facial details from what one expects. Was Picasso capturing complexities of Dora or was he projecting his own complexities onto canvas? Dora’s words would suggest the latter, referencing her lover’s fragmented renditions of her with disdain: “All his portraits of me are lies…they’re all Picassos. Not one is Dora Maar.”

Well, that is no surprise! We project our “stuff” (“parts” or feelings, beliefs, sensations and actions) all the time, although we often fail to “catch” what we are revealing about ourselves.

Have you ever watched a person’s face turn “colors” when they told you their story about an event? Did their ruby cheeks of embarrassment then shift into your own feelings of embarrassment about some time in your life? We frequently act as mirrors of one another. I see fear in the eyes of this painting. Is this because I have a fearful part about the current violence on our world stage? According to a Smithsonian report, Picasso had fears of Nazis in the time frame of both this painting and his anti-war Guernica masterpiece with its horse-eye fears. Both painter and observer project personality “parts” in varying degrees.

Have you noticed when a person is lying that they often do not maintain eye contact? (There are other possibilities for not keeping eye contact, but lying is one possibility). Other than eyes, perhaps the most obvious thing we watch in another is whether they are smiling at us and how wide their smile is. A smirk smile is vastly different from a friendship smile. These seemingly small details send nonverbal signals between individuals that there is safety, or not, in current relating.

One interpretation of the limited smile on the portrait of Picasso’s lover is intriguing: “[it] perhaps hints at the shadow of a faint, sorrowful smile,” states Agnés Sevestre-Barbé, a Picasso specialist. This painting occurred during World War II during Hitler’s reign when Nazis forces had surrounded Paris where Picasso’s studio was located. The time also coincided with an impending break-up of the 9-year relationship between Picasso and Maar. Picasso met Maar when he was 54 years-old and she was 28. The part plot thickens. Picasso reportedly left Maar after meeting his next conquest, 21-year-old Francoise Gilot.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

432. When have you looked at another’s face and made an instant leap to “read” them?

433. Do you practice “catching” the part(s) of you projecting onto another?

Anger Remedies

As a long-time student of problem-solving and conflict resolution, I am troubled by the news cycle of raw conflicts in our country. Animosity too often turns to not-so-veiled threats or violent behavior against an imagined “other.” Political individuals report a slew of death threats and in some unbelievable instances, they or their family members have been violently attacked. Anger is palpable from town hall meetings to houses of worship.

Margaret Cullen, a marriage and family therapist as well as a mindfulness teacher, identifies what is happening when anger’s slippery slope devolves into cruelty and/or violence. She gives a first-person accounting: “When I reflect honestly, I notice that my most volatile reactions are tied to things I hate in myself—places I’ve missed the mark or failed to live up to my own ideals. Outrage becomes a shield, a projection, a way of disowning what is hard to face internally…easier to demonize the other than to wrestle with my own complicity.” Such truth-telling seems like a place to begin a much-needed remedy to anger.

Cullen’s upcoming book, Quiet Strength: Find Peace, Feel Alive, and Love Boundlessly Through the Power of Equanimity, might be required reading for politicians. As Cullen outlines her approach, an ethical value system is key: “Simply put: Unethical conduct breeds agitation; ethical conduct fosters peace. And agitation is fertile ground for outrage and projection to take root. Throw in some social media and global instability, and you are well on your way to zealotry. Peace is fertile ground for perspective and clarity to grow. Toss in some honest self-reflection and an intention for greater integrity, and you can harness the energy of outrage toward creative solutions and effective engagement.”

Yes, self-reflection, insight, and an awareness of one’s value system are always a good idea, whether the topic is anger or anything else. However, we do not see things clearly much of the time. We experience anger or some other strong emotion and imagine that it is “justified.” We do not recognize that our anger rides shotgun in the front seat of our personality pickup truck as a protector from fear, insecurity, and other tender parts of ourselves. I reflected upon this lack of self-clarity when I looked through a clouded-over glass window in a door in my new home. The murky window blocked my view of roses growing outside this doorway. Once the double-pane failed glass was replaced, roses could be appreciated with clear sightlines.

I appreciate the metaphor in a Scottish tune, Looking at a Rainbow Through a Dirty Window (by Scottish Uilleann piper and flute player Calum Stewart, arranged for harp by Rachel Hair). Listening to peaceful music, especially with others, is a remedy for what ails. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pyp3p3gRQcQ

Are you looking for rainbows and peaceful, creative solutions these days? I am.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

431. When do you catch yourself projecting your own outrage onto an “other” person?

431. How might we best enhance ethical conduct in groups of people?

Women and Well-being

Following last week’s blog, Men and Well-being, it seems appropriate to address women’s well-being. First, here is a 4-point working definition of well-being that is supported by neuroscience research from the Center for Healthy Minds, University of Wisconsin-Madison:

Awareness: A heightened, flexible attentiveness to one’s environment and internal cues such as bodily sensations, thoughts and feelings.
Connection: A feeling of care and kinship toward other people that promotes supportive relationships through acknowledging and understanding another’s unique perspective.
Insight: A self-knowledge concerning how one’s emotions, thoughts and beliefs shape their experiences and sense of self.
Purpose: A keen understanding about one’s core values and deeper motivation to be capable of applying them in daily life.

Perhaps you know some women who embody these concepts. I know many women who are proficient in these ways of well-being. My theory about why this is so prevalent among women is that women are the ones who give birth to the future generation. Whether they have this opportunity or not, they often are responsible for educating precious children. These givers of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness need their own well-being honed to be capable of being positive role models in guiding youth.

It is a huge benefit that women have a good amount of the hormone and neurotransmitter, oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the “love hormone.” Men have less of this hormone gem, although they do possess oxytocin. Couples in the early stages of a romantic attachment have significantly higher levels of oxytocin than singles! Oxytocin is an arousal helper. Levels of the hormone spike both during and after sex. Hugs, physical touch and meaningful eye contact all release oxytocin.

Oxytocin is not just related to reproduction; it is involved in many of the positive emotions that we experience. Research suggests that men with higher-than-average oxytocin levels show greater empathy, trust, and attachment in their ongoing relationships. Oxytocin helps parents form lifelong bonds with their children. Oxytocin also is effective as a natural stress-reliever, as it can lower blood pressure and improve circulation. It has anti-inflammatory possibilities.

Overall, oxytocin is a hormone that helps one feel balanced. When oxytocin levels are low, there are noticeable effects in an individual that are troublesome – a low ability in relating to others, a reduced empathy range, and/or greater-than-average feelings of loneliness and anxiety. Practices like meditation, deep breathing, and yoga can help release oxytocin.

There is a great need for all of us to awaken to our birthright of well-being. This is our time, this present time, to bond with one another. Our planet depends upon it. Our country depends upon it. Our communities depend upon it. Our families depend upon it. As ballerina and member of the Osage Nation, Maria Tallchief reminded, “Very often you are in the right place, at the right time, but you don’t know it.”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

429. When are you aware of experiencing well-being?

430. What purpose might you fulfill today?

Men and Well-being

Family therapist Terry Real (yes, his real name) is the founder of Relational Life Therapy. His specialty for 40 years is men. He is the author of 4 books with titles such as I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and How Can I Get Through to You? Reconnecting Men and Women. He has a reputation for “saving marriages” when hope for repair has dwindled to a couple’s last-ditch effort. “All relationships are about balance/unbalance/repair, harmony/unharmony/repair.”

Real believes men are depressed “because they are terrible at intimacy.” Furthermore, he considers that the U.S. is a “toxic culture of individualism” which does not include nurturing interpersonal relationships. He offers workshops for working with “grandiose men” who lack empathy for themselves as well as empathy for others.

What is a grandiose behavior? According to Real, a grandiose man is apt to minimize, deflect, blame, and rationalize. His grandiosity, similar to intoxication, greatly impairs his judgment. He often has experienced considerable hurt in his life and manages it through a “retreat to the one-up position…If you’re in the one-down, shame state—which is where most women are, overtly—at least you know it. But one of the insidious things about the flight from shame into grandiosity—which is where many men go—is that it doesn’t feel bad. In fact, it often feels pretty good.”

Real’s experience is that a grandiose man will only change when his partner “starts walking.” If left unchecked, men’s grandiose behaviors often leave a legacy of crippled functioning to their offspring.

It is difficult being a man today (and difficult being a woman also). Online influencers in the “manosphere” blast misogynistic rhetoric alongside physical fitness tips. Women frequently are blamed for whatever ails a man. This toxic “manosphere” is developed through the interplay of certain chatrooms, websites, vlogs, TikTok channels, and gaming platforms. Cynthis Miller-Idriss, founder of Polarization, Extremism Research & Innovation Lab (PERIL) at American University, and author of Man Up, describes grandiosity in the manosphere as often mixed with anger: “They’re performing outrage, it’s salacious, it feels good, it’s like candy for guys who are angry.”

Consider the 18^th century story, Robinson Crusoe by British writer, journalist, and spy, Daniel Defoe (1660-1731). Protagonist Crusoe is shipwrecked on a remote island. A sole survivor, he begins to feel regret (and perhaps develops some self-empathy) for his former choices. He does not have a smart phone to influence his thinking, only a Bible. He develops morality. He becomes grateful for his life. He keeps himself alive for 28 years despite harsh circumstances. He defends prisoners from cannibalism. Two of Defoe’s more famous quotes apply here: “All men would be tyrants if they could,” and more hopeful, “But it is never too late to be wise.”

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

427. Have you experienced any kind of relationship (as a colleague, family member, or partner) with a grandiose man?

428. How might the U.S. invest in emotional fitness — for everyone?

Haboob Time

A week ago a tremendous dust storm or haboob dropped a haze-filled blanket over Phoenix. My son was driving at the time. He pulled off a highway for 10-15 minutes. Some choose not to stop driving, the recommended practice, receiving an accident from their choice. Flights were grounded. Homes and businesses lost power. Haboobs are a threat in dry climates, especially in the Southwest. Without warning or a possibility of containment, a haboob whips dust into a mass several thousand feet high in an intense wind that rages for a brief time. As incredible as it sounds, the haboob forcefield of dust can extend up to 100 miles wide. Sudan has an average of 24 such terrorizing dust storms annually. Haboobs also occur in the Sahara Desert across Northern Africa and in Central Australia.

This weekend many are weathering different kinds of storms. In Washington state, two firefighters were apprehended by U.S. Border Patrol while on the job fighting a ferocious wildfire in a remote part of the state. Their reported reason for arrest was “illegal entry and reentry” into the U.S. This wildfire is only 13% contained. These apprehensions of supposed violent behavior are 0% contained.

Meanwhile, in the other Washington (DC), National Guard troops have been ordered to patrol the city to stem violence. Local restaurants and hotels have fewer reservations. Tour guide companies lost revenue. One company reports that typically August is high season for Washington tourists with 80 tours booked; their current number is 40. Canadian bookings have disappeared. Whether crime has been contained depends upon one’s source of statistics. The slogan of the Arizona Department of Transportation regarding haboob time is, “Pull aside, stay alive.” Can we apply this to the National Guard? Hopefully, their duty does not cost them personal street violence that they are expected to contain.

On this Labor Day, celebrations may be as somber as haboob skies. There are many folks without labor to return to on Tuesday morning. Some retired, with many choosing early retirement. Some government workers lost their career post when a termination haboob swept through their office. Without notice, a worker could receive the news at 5:00 PM and not have time to say goodbye to co-workers while being escorted out their work door. Depending upon the worker’s age, some will have difficulty finding new employment. Who helps displaced government workers reenter the labor pool? Who calculates lost revenue in ability to pay federal/local taxes? More importantly, what psychological effects trickle down to their families?

Labor Day is traditionally a time for families to celebrate American workers and to gather for picnics to celebrate the last hurrah of summer as the nation’s children start another school year. America begins this school season with another senseless school shooting. Who provides school security for children and teachers? I have more questions than answers.

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

425. What meaning does paid employment have for you?

426. Have you ever experienced a job termination? If so, what happened?

School Days…Golden Rule Days?

“…Let’s take a trip on memory’s ship / Back to the bygone days… / School days, school days / Dear old Golden Rule days / ‘Reading and ‘riting and ‘rithmetic / Taught to the tune of the hick’ry stick….”

Did you sing this in childhood? OK, I’m dating myself. As a youngster in rural Indiana, it was a well-known song. Thankfully, I never was spanked either at home or in school, although many children receive this wayward discipline. The 1907 song was composed by Will D. Cobb and Gus Edwards. Imagined crooners were adults looking back on childhood experiences in elementary school. Were Cobb or Edwards paddled in school?

As a new school year is in first gear, it rattles my psychology training that in 2025 corporal punishment remains “legal” in private schools in every U.S. state except Illinois, Iowa. Maryland, New Jersey and New York. What educational textbooks are these educators reading? And to make it clear that private education is not the only believer in spanking, it is also “legal” in 17 states in public schools (supposedly “practiced” in 12 states). Spanking is not a healthy choice for either the inflicted child or the perpetrator doing the spanking. As a family therapist, I taught parents and kids, “Hands are for hugging, cooking, playing and ____________________; hands are not for hitting.”

An online Newsweek article (8-22-25) reports that a nonprofit organization, Lawyers for Good Government, has investigated corporal punishment. Sadly, their findings are that Black children comprise 37.3% of the inflicted, and disabled children make up 16.5% of the incidents. This discrimination is disgraceful.

In case you wonder, here are the 17 states allowing corporal punishment in schools: Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, Maine, Missouri, New Hampshire, North Carolina, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas, and Wyoming. Florida made a recent concession – parents must give consent — and “it depends upon the school” in 4 more, Louisiana, Oklahoma, Mississippi, and Tennessee.

There is hope for change to archaic discipline in schools. According to Elizabeth Gershoff, Professor of Human Development and Family Sciences, University of Texas at Austin, “…school principals either realize that school corporal punishment is not effective at improving student behavior, that it is not necessary, is cruel and physically harmful, or that it could lead to lawsuits from parents of children injured by school corporal punishment.”

Sarah Font, Associate Professor of Sociology and Public Policy, Pennsylvania State University, suggests, “…instilling proper respect for authority figures” and adults who received spankings believing they learned something, are reasons the outdated practice exists, despite research that corporal punishment does not improve long-term behavior.

Justin Driver, Professor of Law, Yale Law School, states, “Public school students are the only group of people in American society who government officials strike with impunity for modest transgressions.”

Who is educating government officials? Who educates the educators?

Pearls of Peace (PoP) Quiz

423. Were you spanked in childhood at home or school?

424. What effects have you observed in individuals who were hit by teachers and/or parents?